I am in this horrible country where the serial rapist president endorses a pedophile in the interest of making America “safer” and liberals women are defending our own predators as if there is any “acceptable” degree of power abuse. It is very triggering. Growing up a survivor of sexual abuse, I at least had the comfort of knowing that even if my abusers saw nothing wrong with their actions, at least I could count on the rest of society, or at least the female half to it, to be appalled on my behalf.
Some of the talk that women are having now about which forms of power-abuse we should turn a blind eye to, as if there was a shortage of decent human being we could begin replacing these entitled men with, and their instant dismissals as a consequence for their own deliberate choices and behaviors was some kind of affront and not long overdue justice would have driven me to suicide as teenager, and I cannot imagine it is any easier for the young girls reeling from their own abusers actions and seeing the response from the highest office in this country.
All of this keeps flooding me with how I felt the first time the state made me spend Christmas at my parent’s house after I had been placed into foster care for two weeks and how it felt when everyone stood around urging/forcing me to kiss my dad goodbye, all the while knowing the reason I did not live there anymore was because he had molested me all my life and had nearly beat me to death two weeks before that day. This is the feelings I get every time I see that pedophilia is being endorsed by our president and and a disgustingly shameful number of white voters and I can’t help but feel like we are finished as a society, and if we’re not, we damn well ought to be.
I’ve been watching with interest the overt gaslighting of the Bordentown Township’s black residents’ lived experiences by the new Chief of Police hired to replace Chief Frank M. Nucera Jr. who “retired” suddenly after a colleague recorded him saying some reprehensible Nazi sentiment and reported him. In a meeting with the NAACP of his community he is quoted in the Philly News repeatedly contradicting the FBI’s investigation about how bad things were and being brutally frank about how much they were doing to fix that problem that is the reason he has the position he is in.
“This was the action of one person,” he said. “Please don’t let the alleged actions of one person taint the whole town. It’s a wonderful town.”
First of all, nobody is saying “the town” is at fault, that’s ridiculous. “The town” includes the citizens, the community. The good people of Bordentown Township are not sitting around pointing fingers at each other on the street and saying, “this is your fault!” His infantilization of the NAACP attendees to suggest nobody was holding this “one” person accountable is just a projection of what the powers in charge are doing by simply letting him retire instead of throwing him in jail to wait for his trial and eventual prison for the hate crime he was recorded committing. On the other hand, if by “the town” we mean the ones in charge of making sure this white supremacist actually faces anymore than early retirement for his actions, that is responsible for investigating every single case that passed through his precinct since he was hired in 2005 for racist mistreatment by him and every member of his staff, then yes, the scrutiny and accountability are a right of the township. But how do we know that nothing will change?
Persce says that the department had made a “360-degree philosophical change.” rejecting suggestions the department had as bad of a problem with racism as the behavior of the departments highest ranking officer might suggest. That was just one guy after all, not the whole department (which he expands to town to further blur the accountability) and we’re supposed to just pretend that the fact that he was in charge and for 12 years would have zero bearing on how he ran the department? Does he think black people are all stupid and have not lived their reality in this township? He means to say that that his coming into the department suddenly t take over makes him automatically omniscient about how things were with is predecessor before he arrived, to the point where he knows more than the citizens that have had to live under Nucera’s “leadership” since 2005 what it was like? This is what whitesplaining looks like. How on earth does this gaslighting and delusional representation of there being no problem supposed to make anybody feel better? This tired old refrain of one lone offender and in this especially egregious case of trying to convince anyone how the abject and and notorious racism of one that has been running the department for 12 years could not possibly reflect anything about the the general climate there is the pure white nonsense. Only other white people could ever fool themselves into believing that the overt white supremacy of any leader in authority is not going to bleed out into his underlings in a million covert ways.
Persce has been there for less than a year, and even in light of the FBI investigation, also detailed in the Philly News (which if successful would not only put Nucera in prison hopefully for the full 20 year sentence, fingers crossed!) he still wants to stand in front of 35 NAACP members and tell them to their faces that the problem is not systemic. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and believe that maybe since the old boss is gone because of his own racist behavior, the the other racists that he hired and groomed are especially minding themselves in self defense lest they be next, so there is an appearance of decency, at least in front of him. And so what he is seeing and experiencing is in fact what he says. But to stand there and insist that an overt, proven, white supremacist being in a leadership position is not going to affect the entire department is pure delusion and rather than white-splaining to the NAACP here what it was like before he arrived apropos of nothing, he should be sitting down and listening to them, who have presumably been in the community for longer and had more direct experiencer with any racism the department may have harbored than any white person in the county than the since January when he arrived, to learn what it was like for them instead of explaining what he thinks it is in his limited experience. White people should just plain stop trying to tell POC how bad the not bad the racism problem is anywhere. Whenever any white person is tempted to do this to a POC, they need to learn to check themselves and listen to learn instead of trying to teach us about the systemic racism they literally cannot experience first-hand.
If the #BlackLivesMatter movement has demonstrated anything it is that the time to stop with the incessant gaslighting of black people trying to say the problems are not individual bad seeds, but a systemic problem that emanates from the white supremacists in control. White people are not fooling anyone else but other white people who don’t live the same experiences with law enforcement as the rest of us. They need to accept that they will never, ever be the experts and should only take a listening role when it comes to discussions about how deep, wide, and entrenched racism is American society and especially in seats of power.
Once more for the people who think they are allies but contradict the people they claim to support. What does it mean to “stay in your own lane?”
The beneficiaries and perpetrators of the “ism” do not get to define the terms and boundaries the oppressed and marginalized use when we talk about our experiences. Members of the dominant paradigm do not get to weigh in on this EVER. Only a overinflated sense of entitlement makes you feel like it’s your right to walk in and dominate every space. Your existing feeling of superiority over the group is the only reason to ever ‘splain anything to us, to try to define the rules of engagement regardless of how we may see things.
Imagine if in your whole life the closest to eating cake you ever got was soda crackers. You never had cake, though you may have read about cake, spoken to others that have had cake, even looked on as some people at cake nearby. If you overheard someone saying, “I don’t like this cake, it is salty!” Would come screaming into their space to correct them about how cake is supposed to be salty because the closest thing to it you have ever had is Saltines? Or would you acknowledge that this person has had something you have never had, let’s say you have Celiac’s, so Cake isn’t even on the menu for you ever, would you still feel compelled to “correct” this person about their opinion of cake? Would you find articles and recipes for cake with salt in them and force this person to understand how cake is supposed to taste based on your utter and complete lack of firsthand experience? Would you point out that you can have an opinion about cake because one time someone gave you a cookie? This is how it sounds when an outsider to a group tries to “educate” the people in the group about anything inherent to their experience.
Would you walk into a hospital and start telling the neurosurgeon how to perform a brain surgery? Why not? Because you are not educated enough in that to do so. You can assume the surgeon knows their shit, and you are able to easily refrain from advising or even trying to interject an opinion. Starting yesterday, you need to begin to apply these same concepts to ALL of the marginalized people you feel like lecturing. Once you have stopped ‘splaining at us you will seem less an asshole, annoyance, distraction. People with no idea that want to educate people who live an experience about how they are wrong about their own story are like toddlers interrupting adult conversation for no other reason than to regain being the center of attention. As cute as the gibberish and babytalk may be, it is still gibberish and babytalk and contributes nothing to the conversation the rest of us are trying to have. Accept that people who experience any form of abuse that you do not will invariably have a more acute knowledge about it than you possibly can and stop trying to impose your opinions on us.
When someone from the dominant group sets out to explain the rules and definitions to any member of the marginalized group, it is is a form of abuse in and of itself. Who we are, who we address, and how matters.
Heterosexual people do get get to define Homophobia and tell queer folx what they are allowed to be upset by and how much. Only queer folx can decide that for themselves.
Cis people do not get to define transphobia and what makes trans and NB folx uncomfortable or explain what different terminologies apply to them. Only trans and NB people can determine the depth of their emotional responses and what they are applied to.
White people so not get to define racism, only dark-skinned people can. White people do not get to tell us when or why we are being “too sensitive”, “too angry” “overreactive” This affront is known as Tone Policing. Nobody gets to tell another person how upset they are “allowed” to be over having been abused in any way. Nobody external to the situation can ever assume they know what transpired before someone reacted. Microaggressions are real and they are exhausting and what may seem like a trifling matter on the face of it, when help against the backdrop of every single other kind of daily abuse they are subjected to. You are only seeing a very very small corner of the picture and it is a folly to insist that tiny peek you have is what the entire thing is also of.
The person doing the attacking or benefiting from the discrimination of another does not get to tell their victim at what point it is permissible to cry out in pain or protest their treatment. Our boundaries are ours alone to draw and can vary wildly from person to person. It doesn’t matter if you never used a slur word in your life if you go around assuming other people cannot possibly know more about a subject than you. Accept that you cannot possibly know everything about everything and step away from the microphone!
The reason that oppressors and abusers are not allowed to draw the boundaries is because they will *always* draw the boundaries to exclude their own behavior, words, and actions, which is a form of abuse we call “gaslighting.” That’s what we call it when they try to convince us no abuse took place at all. This is usually done by flat out refusing to accept a person’s description of events at face value, even accusing them of making the whole thing up, but this extends also to when the act itself is acknowledged and someone refuses to understand that it was abusive to the receiver. Telling people how they are supposed to act when affronted is called “tone policing” and it is NEVER appropriate. Everyone gets to have as strong f feelings as they need to about what is upsetting them, and in the case of marginalization, it is rarely ever about just that one last thing that happened. It is CUMULATIVE and everyone’s capacity for non-sense is limited. You can never know how rudely someone was treated by bigots before they came into your awareness, and assuming they have not received any abuse today is usually incorrect.
Only the person being abused is qualified to declare where their suffering begins and ends, not anybody else. This includes repeating someone else’s more lax boundaries to another person in the same group. Let me repeat that.
EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL GETS TO DEFINE WHAT CONSTITUTES ABUSE TO THEIR PERSON. Personal boundaries are NEVER wrong. No matter what you read or heard elsewhere. Just because you know someone who “doesn’t mind” being called this or shrugs it off when that happens, is not ever an excuse to tell anyone else they too should not be bothered by that thing as well. You don’t know their story. Everyone comes from a different situation. If someone has a vehement objection to something abusive and you act affronted, you are recentering the conversation away from the legitimate victim to talk about yourself, which is always rude. Do not be surprised if you are asked to sit back down, because franky, you’re feelings and experiences are not the center of the conversation when you are not in the marginalized group having the discussion. You are a tourist at best, an interloper in the middle and a flat out abusive asshole at worst. Be Better!
If you are going to cite references to contradict someone and your source materials were created by members of the dominant paradigm, you have already failed to understand the basic ground rules and are wasting someone’s time to direct them to it. This goes triple for white people who think the dictionary written by cis-het-white-men, the singularly most dominant group in the world, is still legitimate in this day and age. Language is a living thing. It evolves, grows and changes to meet the needs of the word it is in at the moment. DO NOT BE THAT TROGLODYTE that wants to constrain words to the meanings assigned to them by people with no vested interest in the discourse they may be used in. Either evolve with the rest of us or just shut the fuck up. But DO NOT try to drag all the rest of us back to the dark ages where all the rules are made by cis-het-white-men who are simply trying to maintain their death grip on the rest of our throats.
If you want to be an ally, NEVER EVER try to explain or deny the terms of someone else’s oppression. Listen, learn and reevaluate your own opinions based on what marginalized people are saying. This is called “Staying in your own lane.” It’s what Allies do.
I want to close with a personal story about one of the most prominent abusers in my life, my father. He’s dead now, thank Heavens, but when he was alive and I was a small child, and I mean small, like 3 years old, he would beat me regularly. He would thrash me and thrash me with his belt for reasons that had nothing to do with me or my behaviour and everything to do with the frustration he felt at being just a shitty human being. He we come home from work at his night shift job to little me, sleeping in my bed, (what on earth could possibly be more innocent on this earth than a sleeping child?), Yank me out of my slumber forcibly and beat me with his belt because I had been “bad” that day. Sometimes I would get a long speech about why I was about to be beaten, sometimes there was just the belt and no speech at all. And through his whole life, he maintained that he never “abused” me. He was raising me the way he had been raised and apparently believed that the beatings his drunken abusive parents administered to him were the only thing that kept him on the straight and narrow and out of prison. I am sure they rationalized it the same to him. So we have an abuser, deciding that his behaviour did not constitute abuse. The justifications and internal dialogue of the abuser are IRRELEVANT. Why he did it, what he thought it would do for me, NONE OF THAT MATTERS. Once when I was six he told me, “If I ever start laughing while I am hitting you, you have permission to run away.” This again was a rule set out by my abuser, giving me “control” of the situation based on the terms that HE decided. AS IF a tiny little girl who is regularly thrashed by someone is ever going to feel empowered to try to run away in the first place, but it was his truly narcissistic portrayal of when it got bad, based on HIS behaviour, HIS intention, HIS feelings. Never at any time was the fact that he was beating up a tiny little girl that was not as big as his leg come into his mind. The effects of his actions on his victim were never ever part of the equation.
When people in dominant groups tell marginalized people when it’s OK to be mad, and how mad it’s OK to get, and how to behave when we are upset, it is NEVER about the comfort of the abused. It is always from the narrative of the abuser and the effect of our feelings on them. Maybe they feel shame or guilt and that is why they want to make the rules to suit their emotional comfort, but it is NEVER their right or their place to do so.
Nobody wants to be called a racist, homophobic, or transphobic, but acting like being called out for your bigotry is a greater offence than actually behaving like a bigot and demanding that the victims be a certain way, feel a certain way and act a certain way is the opposite of what needs to happen. Rather than redefine the abuse from the narrative of the eternally innocent oppressor, we need the for OPPRESSION itself to stop. One of the ways to do that is to STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE. Do not correct, advise, debate, educate, explain or any other mode of talking when the topic is the lived experiences of people in marginalized groups you are not a part of. Your ONLY ROLE EVER EVER EVER in these conversations is the shit down and shut up and if you can muster up the will with any attention that’s left after keeping yourself quiet, LISTEN AND LEARN from the lived experiences of the people talking. You have nothing to teach a brain surgeon, you have never tasted the nasty, salty cake. And there’s not one thing you can say in disagreement that is not going to make you come off as a gigantic asshole.
“I think, (but know you will correct me) that I understand your fear and hate. Honestly though, I really cannot take even seeing another of your posts. They are hateful and extremely insulting to my heritage and current existent this lifetime. I realize that you see things from your experience, and do not want to hear that others must do the same. Yes, you have the right to say what you want on Your FB page, I respect that, and before you got to this level of hate yourself, I thought you a marvelous person. Your continued anger and slaming of so mamy other people and cultures makes it no longer possible for me to engage. I wish you well in this incarnation, we all have out paths and struggles.
I hope you find something within yourself to love in spite of all that fear, anger, shaming and blame. That is not going to bring you the peace, contentment or any semblance of a happy life.
We all have the choice and responsibility to create what we want in life. If it is only focused on finding fault with the rest of the world, then that is what you are creating.
So much of what you share is true, but can not change through so much energy being fed to it such a consistent manor.
Seek the light! Raise your consciousness to a place that others may follow. I for one cannot follow this dark path any longer.”
Says the old white lady
Poor old white lady can’t handle the truth. I’m right, but just shut up already because talking about it makes her have feelings. I am “insulting her heritage” because I talk about racism and imperialism. Oh golly, I am really going to miss being judged by this white lady. Not. I talk about racism because I LOVE the people that suffer from the effects of white supremacy on us and I want us to have a better life. I hate things and people that EARN the scorn. And I have no trouble at all about loving ME. People bring up anger and hatred AS IF my love for myself was even anything she gives a fuck about. This reaction is not about me or my self care and it’s total bullshit to pretend it is. If she had so much love for me, it would overcome her personal white fragility and she would HEAR ME without judgment. This is what tone policing and conditional allyship looks like. “I’ll listen to you when you stop making me uncomfortable with your suffering.”
And what fucking right has anyone got to make old white people have to stop and think about their role in the suffering of those they oppress?
Maggie was found guilty and hanged for killing her child. In the morning she was still alive. This was considered an “act of God” so she was cut down and set free. The pub she opened afterwards is still operating! http://www.the-grassmarket.com/history/maggie-dickson.html
The current Edinburgh is built on top of the older Edinburgh. These vaults where the old streets used to be were left behind. They became shelters for the poor and were filled with crime and disease.
Kind of looks like three swimming dicks to me.
This used to be the outer wall of Edinburgh city limits.
This is where JK Rowling hung out to write Harry Potter.
The story of Greyfriar’s Bobby, the loyal dog that sat on his owner’s grave every day for 15 years. He was buried in the same cemetary.
What Is It With White People Being Unable To Resist Advising Brown People About How To Deal With Racists? The “advice” is NEVER usable for anyone but other white people
There’s nothing at all NEW about the state of racism in America or the Pacific Northwest where I have been all my adult life. Oregon has always been extremely discriminatory place to live as a brown skinned human. There has ALWAYS BEEN MISERABLE TREATMENT FROM WHITE PEOPLE for me and my brown family here. At what point are we allowed to say we’ve had enough and try to save our skins?
Recently American white supremacists are even more emboldened to actually physically assault us instead of mainly verbally. Are you familiar with the two heroes that were murdered in Portland Oregon on the Metro because they got between a “patriot” that was defending America from the threat of 17 year old brown girls going home from school? Let me point out that the metro car was FULL. On a CROWDED metro train, only three people thought the assault was worthy of intervention! What was everyone else doing while this man screamed insults and threats at two children? How about when the Nazi rally came to Portland and the Police formed a barrier to the PROTECT Them from the counter protesters? Big estimates put the counter protester headcount at 2,000 people. The 2010 census puts the population of Portland, OR at 583,776. That is a DISMAL percentage of the population. This is my “army” when fascism comes and their biggest line of defence is standing behind barricades and waving cute signs at the fascists. No riots, nobody harmed. This is how much resistance Fascism will face until more white people are killed by it, and since the primary tenet of fascism is to kill everyone except white people, the good liberals here are mostly OK with that.
This is why I am not safe here. Too many “innocent” bystanders willing to look down at their shoes and shuffle their feet during a full blown racist assault is why I am leaving. Citizens defend and protect one another. By that definition I have NEVER been a citizen of this country, no matter what my passport or birth certificate says. I have been assaulted, insulted, denigrated and had my humanity denied to me here by white people over and over again. I got the message load and clear!!! I am not welcome here, I have NEVER been welcome here because America is for white people. The laws, the constitution, voting laws, all designed to elevate the white people and oppress the brown. How much of this should we be expected to tolerate? Is 49 years enough? Can I get a break now? I am coming to Scotland first to trace the roots of my father’s people and my lover’s people, but I imagine I am going to have to go all the way to Asia where other people are predominantly the same color as me before I will ever escape white supremacy in any country.
As far as I am concerned the only reason my brown body is even on this continent was because an imperialist colonizing white man kidnapped my mother and brought her here. I have never felt welcome or included or treated like an “American citizen” here in my whole entire life. I have always been the one who is asked “What are you?” and “Where are you from?” followed with by disbelief and the same question repeated with more Os when I reply that I am American. “No, I mean, where are you froooom?” Which translates into white-speak as, “You cannot be from America, you are too brown. Why are you brown?” That’s just the interpersonal microaggressions that we live with daily.
That’s not even bringing up the actual legislation being enacted to oppress us even further. Are you not aware of how freedom of movement is becoming the law of the land? Fascism has a firm foothold in the American government today, and since what has no impact on white people does not exists, by the time it start to hit them, it will be too late, all the rest of us will already have been harmed. I am a student of history and I have my ear to the ground here. I have been jumping up and down and waving my arms trying to get white people here to see what’s coming because it’s happening to us and it’s just a matter of time until it hits them too, enough to lift a finger to help, but it’s just ignorance followed by denial and gaslighting.
This is a response in a thread about unpacking white fragility that was the result of some discomfort white attendees of my town’s non-corporate pride rally,
The first guest speaker was a black transman and the last speaker was an indigenous person. They spoke their uncomfortable truths about how the white-led queer movements have perpetuated the marginalization they endure. As a result, there was the usual fragile responses from the people for whom this is a new message because as they demonstrated with their comments, their feelings are more relevant than the experiences and feelings of the marginalized people that were given the stage. I’ll now pas the microphone to Lotus:
I just want to expand a little bit about the event and the discomfort regarding negative comments about police and white people.
I’ll be up front and say that I often feel uncomfortable with comments about white people because painting with such broad strokes puts a lot of responsibility on me as an individual. This is where the work happens.
Dismantling racism/sexism/ableism/etc doesn’t happen because we spread awareness, it happens when we look internally for ways we perpetuate these things.
Because our culture often excludes people based on proximity to whiteness, gender, ability, etc., we all have ingrained biases that we must confront in order to unpack the privileges we have.
For example, if you are black and a trans woman, you’re much more likely to be raped and murdered than anyone else.
If you are a black man, pulled over by police, you’re more likely to be murdered during that interaction than anyone else.
The reason for this last example is often because police are afraid of black men. We hear it over and over–cops are routinely excused for murdering unarmed black men while they let white terrorists drink beer and eat Burger King before going to jail.
These power imbalances make it a really hostile place for black folx, so when they are asked to speak about their oppression, their fears, their hopes, etc., these power imbalances are going to be front and center.
Just as women are often ignored and discredited when they report rapes, black people are rarely given opportunities to voice their experiences and be heard.
As white people, hearing this can be really uncomfortable. Because it seems like we’re being blamed. And we are in a way–we’re being called out for our complicity in a system that villifies and punishes black people because they’re black.
We feel that they deserve to have that space and that since white people are automatically accepted into most spaces, inclusivity in this context means making it safe for people who are routinely silenced and murdered and left behind. That means we, as white people, need to sacrifice some comfort and make space for the truths and experiences of others.
Examining the feelings and thoughts that come up when we are called on our privileges (like surviving being pulled over by police), is essential to dismantling racism.
We can’t make our community truly inclusive until those of us with inherent privileges examine our ingrained (unconscious) biases.
Its unfortunate that people left before we marched because there were lovely performances after we returned to the park blocks and great music. We prioritized our speakers leading the event not only because we recognize that their voices are often silenced but also because we must honor our history as queer people, especially those who came before us–black trans women and trans women of color.
Men should be allies to women, but since men hold the most societal capital, men should never demand that women SUPPORT them, hold space for them, step aside for them. Social Power doesn’t work that way. They already have the support and backing of the patriarchy and any demands on our power to assist them are signs of dysfunctional men unaware of their own privilege. Women are the ones in need of support in the unequal distribution of power in society.
White people should be allies to the rest of us, but since white people hold the most societal capital, white people should never demand that brown people SUPPORT them, hold space for them, step aside for them. Social Power doesn’t work that way. They already have the support and backing of the white supremacy and structural marginalization and any demands on our power to assist them are signs of dysfunctional white people unaware of their own privilege. Brown folx are the ones in need of support in the unequal distribution of power in society.
Cis people should be allies to nonbinary people, but since cis people hold the most societal capital, cis people should never demand that nonbinary people SUPPORT them, hold space for them, step aside for them. Social Power doesn’t work that way. Cis people already have the support and backing of heteronormalcy and cultural marginalization of everybody else and any demands on their power to assist them are signs of dysfunctional cis people unaware of their own privilege. nonbinary folx are the ones in need of support in the unequal distribution of power in society.
Owning Class people should be allies to poor and working class people, but since Owning Class people hold the most literal capitol, Owning Class people should never demand that poor and working class people SUPPORT them, do things for them for free, or demand any uncompensated activities from them. It is straight up abuse and exploitation. Wealthy people already have everything they need to survive and being in perpetual taking and not ever giving or even compensating mode to those that serve under them are signs of dysfunctional people unaware of their own privilege. Poor and working folx class are the ones in need of support and the moneyed do not have the right to expect anything for free in this world.
Hello readers! I am going to break with tradition and post a personal message and update.
Travel: I fly out of America on July 3rd with no intention of returning. I have places to stay lined up through August 1st and am looking for a place to let anyplace in Scotland after that.
I am nervous and excited! I look forward to keeping you posted about my travels and the experiences of dark-skinned, women, LGBTQA, and other marginalized people around the world.
Most of my price list links are smartass responses to the entitlements that people take advantage of on POC every day without even realizing it, but here are a few serious ones that I would like to call your attention to because this will be how I survive after I leave the states.
$25 or more monthly sponsorships reward you with personalized messages, sneak peaks, photographs and other original content that nobody else will see.
Another reward is to know that you are contributing to the survival of a refugee that is fleeing the fascism of the United States and that ultimately I want to help as many others get out as I can, as soon as I am not in survival mode myself.
What is happening at Standing Rock is what the indigenous peoples of this continent have had to endure ever since Columbus landed and the white imperialist colonizers followed. Direct Action resources listed below:
Just like in in my city, ticketing the homeless, harassing, and herding them from one camp to another is just stupid. Cities need to set up shelters where unhoused people can collect themselves, get required amounts of sleep, bathe, wash their clothes, and other necessary basic life activities before they can be expected to get housing. Also housing is not affordable for a person that makes minimum wage, especially since asshole employers are keeping people under 30 hours a week to weasel out of providing health insurance. Blaming the people most victimized by capitalism and least able to fix things is a really obnoxious American attitude.
I wish I had the energy to comment on these articles more than to say they discuss in detail why I am leaving this country and my home in Oregon for the last 30 years. It is not safe here for us brown folks.
This one is for historical reference in case you are inclined to believe there is anything new about this, or why I am so sure that when fascism grips MurKKKa that it will sink it’s teeth into the whitest places first.
I might be only able to articulate this because how Blackness sets me up in the world but when JJ Christian says “you call it terrorism I call it patriotism” or when Richard Spencer says “Amerikkka” is a “white nation”, they are 100% right within the defining logic of our nation state. What we call hate crimes now are just the vigilante expression of the deepest and most defining violences that shaped and maintain our nation.
I really think its time to drop the idea that our nation state, (or any really) just so happen to occasionally make themselves and give themselves meaning by marginalizing and dispossessing people. Marginalizing and dispossessing people is how nation-states make themselves and give themselves meaning. I think it’s time to admit that the founding colonizers could not have (and probably wouldn’t have liked to) imagined their declarations and juridical imagination to apply to anyone but the people they thought belong in political community (most White Cishet Dudes).
I think we should look at our history from blackness and realize that Donald Trump and his cabinet represent the core of Amerikkkan values and hopefully from that we can start to admit how this project of a semi-democratic nation-state is just another time-space the invention of whiteness fucked in totality beyond any recognizable way in which life could happen. But it does. So don’t forget kids, this nation is founded on a genocide, extra-legal land appropriation, humxn trafficking, systematized rape and violation, white supremacist hopes, misogynist aspiration, liberation thru ownership of slaves, the absolute grotesque useless violence against Black bodies, the utility of violence upon People of Color, the continued dispossession of the poor and the centuries of violence which accompany the formations of white social life, relative liberty, and the pursuit of hegemonic power.
The pattern I see: White people “discover” and define racism in the Pacific Northwest just now learning how it is especially virulent and violent in Portland where the population is mostly white. Everybody else has been living deep in it since the white people arrived here. This whole scenario looks familiar. What can that be it is reminding me of? What else have white people “discovered” that was inhabited by millions of people already?
You can use the button above to pay me for the time and energy it took to break down for you why it is problematic for a white man to beat an Asian woman over the head with her native religion that you have appropriated as your own to the point of quoting it to me. Please Google “Tone Policing” and get up to speed before you do this, I am exhausted from this shit already and am thinking about doubling my prices when I have to start from the very baseline concepts.
If you’re too broke to pay me, Google some shit about your white male privilege and how not to beat people over the head with it.
I read your very long post that was attached to your apology and no place in it did you even mention the specifics of what you said, and it sounded like you were going the easy route and blaming the current political climate for making me hypersensitive, which is only part of the problem instead of thinking about what happened from my point of view. You have to have dropped the turd in the first place for someone to kick it back at you. If you want to really be a decent human being, you will stop talking as if you are the one hurting the most. Seriously dude get off the cross, we need the wood. Stop victim blaming, stop feeling sorry for how unfair the “state of things out there” is the the problem. Pull over to your lane and listen without shutting off if you’re not offered a heart-hug and an Ohm with what the women you have fallen out and in with you over the decades we’ve known each other were trying to tell you. I know for a fact this is all shit you’ve been told over and over by our mutual friends. START HEARING US.
You opened a post that was going to be seen by all MY Facebook friends and followers to “Zip Up” You know less than 3% of my friends. WHY do you feel it’s OK for you to behave this way? Did your mother never teach you not to dive in and wave your male privilege around by giving a command to my friends as your starting words? Your entitled white male-ass barged into my feed that is predominantly women and POC, LIKE ME and give us an ORDER with your first two words.
Try to understand how belligerent that is as a big white dude to be doing this and stop doing it. Nobody lies it when someone barges in with a command to shut up. Think before you speak, about the fact that your words are backed up by two thousand years of male rule in the world and over two hundred more of white male colonization here and now and adjust your imperialist language and behavior accordingly.
You’re too old to excuse for behaving like a puppy anymore. It’s well past time you stop chewing everything because your gums itch and want flapping and pissing wherever you feel like it. You’re like the pig from the Pink Floyd Animals album. Your sense of entitlement and privilige is going to be the stone that drags you down because the rest of us that are not reaping the rewards of privilege are sick of being bullied and shoved aside in our own spaces to be told to calm down. We have a real fight against actual Nazis with knives that are attacking children and murdering our defenders. You will notice that people are going to be less tolerant of this belligerent entitled behavior as things get shittier for us that get no benefit at all for submitting to white supremacy by bowing out heads, meditating the anger away, and going on like nothing happened.
If you want to go around being Mr.’Zenny McPeacface Use it on yourself. Summon it up whenever you think it’s time to speak up with unwelcome advice especially when it’s literally the worst possible thing you could say to someone that is in pain. Use the opportunity to see what the women and POC are saying without trying to “help” by interrupting our feelings. Go “help” by correcting another white man.
Stop punching down. Punching down makes you a douchebag. Punch up or shut up.
As a white male in American society, uninvited correcting of POC is NEVER helpful, it is punching down. If you want to be truly useful stop “suggesting” to marginalized people how you think we should feel or react about anything. feelings, as you said yourself, is not for you to decide for anybody else but your own self.
Use your white male privilege to not get killed and go fucking teach Metta to a Nazi. Sit Zazen with a fascist asshole that needs enlightenment and isn’t already having to bow under the pressure of overt and covert abuse by bigots. Stop throwing your weight around at people to school their emotions and responses like some kind of Kool-Aid man Guru that nobody invited. Learn how to not to exploit the vulnerability of others by restraining your entitled sense of having omniscient wisdom to share for all occasions. Nobody in the throes of their deepest pain needs some jackass to come in and tell them to calm down. They need their feelings validated, not dismissed. Your totally unsolicited advice to meditate and your insulting instructions how was like shoving your pointer finger in my face and poking me in the forehead demanding I calm down when I have every right to be angry.
Does it shock you to be told you are not omniscient? No? Of course not? Then stop arguing it in your head until you are devoid of any culpability and listen without blaming the speaker for the discomfort you feel when you are called out for abusing your societal capital to oppress those around you. You are not the victim here, you have all the power in most interactions in this culture. When you ignore that, you bulldoze people with your belligerence because it’s much bigger than you will admit to yourself.
Understand that ALL emotions are necessary, that anger saves lives in times of war! Staying calm and emotionless is not the be all end all goal for all of us, it is a means to an end! A warrior needs to return to center, not to STAY THERE AND DO NOTHING, but to be able to be clear and strong when wading back into battle. You want me to be a monk, I reject your assignment and choose WARRIOR because I am constantly assaulted by exactly this white nonsense right here and the shit you wanted me to meditate away my anger about. You don’t get to pick my practice for me and I am insulted that you dare to. You should be appalled over your intrusion. Sitting crosslegged in bliss while the Nazis are marching is not “loving” advice. It is an command to allw myself to be assimilated. I REFUSE TO CONSENT TO MY OWN CULTURAL DEMISE. I DO NOT AGREE THAT OPPRESSORS DESERVE MY RESPECT. I wholly reject you telling me I need to meditate back to calmness because some bible muncher intruded uninvited into my day to ERASE MY CULTURE WITH CHRISTIANITY. I was calm when I gave her back her card. I even smiled with all the pity I could muster for this poor sad white lady who needs to go around shoving her belief into people faces uninvited and the patheticness of the drive to do that. I hid my utter disgust from her, that was the most anyone can ask from me in the case of a religious assault.
Entitled white culture is the exact same fucking culture you rubbed my face in with your detailed instructions about which meditation to use like some kind of fucking Asian monk, which you are not and cannot and will not ever be. That “wisdom” being calm down when I was talking about some random fucko trying to dictate how to practice spirituality. Do you not see the irony? I was complaining about a white lady’s attempt to erase my native religion, that my parents raised me with, to force her western Christianity on me, only to have a fucking WHITE MAN come in and suggest a Buddhist meditation to me. Are you really that unaware?! REALLY? You need to start exercising some awareness of who you are and who you are addressing ALWAYS. I know it’s work and your station has never made it relevant to do, but you need to always remember your white male societal power and not abuse it with your words.
Your intrusion into my feelings about that obnoxious white lady was to be an obnoxious white man to tell me how little feelings I am entitle to feel about another member of your race oppressing me, that I should practice “lovingkndness” which sounds great to you because you are her. I have PLENTY of lovingkindness for pretty much everybody that is not my active oppressor. This is the second abuser you have tried to say this to me about. I do not feel that same motivation to exert the effort required to zen my way back to being calm and serene in the face of oppression as you want me to. That bargain is only good for the oppressor, if you’re not a white man in America, “lovingkindess” towards our oppressors even as they try to erase, discredit and assimilate us out of existence does not sound so appealing and like a goal I need anymore.
Coming from you to me it comes off as a tool of control, like Napolean said, “to keep the poor from murdering the rich.” Except in this case it is not about being poor in money it’s about being poor in power. I know that your your discomfort with my anger has very little to do with any concern you may have for me due to how rarely you interact with me. We’re not close friends, we’re old friends. We do not hang out. We do not converse. I bet I am not even in your phone. You hardly say anything to me ever, and when you do it’s to “advise” me in your infinite wisdom. You need to stop lying to me and to yourself about your words coming from some kind of “concern” “tenderness” or “love” for me. If this is how you show it, by trying to colonize my spirituality, you’re failing. Do not use this approach ESPECIALLY on ASIAN WOMEN but pretty much anyone who has not invited you into their spiritual practice. DO not go barging into people’s sacred spaces with your sanctimonious “reminding” of how to practice Buddhism. I don’t care how much Chinese you speak, your behavior is inappropriate BECAUSE YOU ARE A WHITE MAN.
. If you were sincerely so concerned about my mental and emotional well being, you would check in on me more often than every few years. Look at the people you lecture uninvited about meditation and look at that really makes you uncomfortable with anyone’s justified anger, grief, or sadness that you are trying to crush underfoot. Where is that impulse to silence the emotions of people around you come from? That is for you to figure out. I don’t give a fuck, I just want you to stop lying to me and to yourself about why you want everyone top meditate and stay placid and serene.
Your lecture to me about feelings and Buddhism and the suggestion to meditate was no different than what that old white lady in the supermarket did. You BOTH think I am doing it “wrong” and needed some kind of saving. She wanted me to come to Jesus and you wanted me to come to Nirvana.
I never asked either of you to assume I fucking wanted or needed any spiritual help at all. You both shoved it on me uninvited. That is only OK to do in your mind because you have white privilege.
I just want to go about my day, buy some dinner, go home and eat, like a normal person with a perfectly intact soul with out rude intrusions form imperialists that want to control every aspect of my life and are now assaulting my spirituality. How ironic is that?
Please do not construe this as an invitation to engage in any other way. I am not interested in continuing any kind of relationship with you outside of this social justice training, which you very much need in order to stop being a a blundering oaf knocking the women in your life aside to prove your zenness. I am making this offer to you because I have a mote of hope in you. I am not saying you need to learn any of this from me, but you NEED TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT without telling yourself the story that leaves out your privilege, your actual physical size, the times you have overstepped your rights with our female mutual friends when they were your tenants. Think about what real recourse anyone has against you and your family’s money and status. Think again when you decide you are “lovingly suggesting:” anything about which direction your swinging and stop punching down.
When you gave me this same inappropriate speech when my abuser and I were fighting it was legitimately traumatizing and damaging. You should just never ever remind someone that is grieving how to damn meditate when nobody asked your advice. It is intrusive and invalidating and abusive as fuck when it’s a woman or POC grieving over having been abused. You cannot say shit and ever forget you are a cis white man and every word you speak has not just your personal power but all your social capital and privilege behind it. None of us asked for it, especially the ones on the side of the equation with less of it, but there it is. Your male entitlement allows you to believe that your input is always welcome in every space. You need to get used to this being untrue. You cohorts in stature have ruined for you. That is not women’s fault. It is because of men who behave like you do, barging into our grief and showing us how to avoid having legitimate emotions via meditation. Emotions are a necessary part of sorting out our experiences. But it’s really AWFUL that you make people feel like they have to defend their feelings and their right to have and express them because YOU have decided we’re not calm enough for YOUR COMFORT. Here’s the thing somehow men make it to your age never wrapping their minds around;
If nobody asked your advice or opinion and they are not someone you see on the regular, the default is NOT set to “we really want to know what you would do and what you think!” and just neglected to mention it to you directly. Generally speaking, cis het white men are raised in such a thick cocoon of privilege that 85% of what they have to say about our lives is rooted in having never been exposed to our lives beyond what any females they may have lived with besides their mama.
When white people “speculate,” demand clarification, or otherwise engage with the rest of us around Cultural Appropriation or white privilege in general, it is rarelyif ever because they want to be be sure not to do the wrong thing and inadvertently hurt somebody, but in order to fervently defend the right/entitlements they are in fear of losing.
When one of us says “this thing racists do hurts us” and a white person asks “How does that hurt you?” 7 out of 8 times, that white person is being SARCASTIC, not asking because they actually care about the victim and want to be sure to never cause injury to them in that way again, or because they have any desire at all to help us heal or even validate our suffering. Indignant demands for clarification from white people to us about racism are NEVER REQUESTS for information FROM US, but a launching pad for them to “give us some perceptive” as if white culture was something we have any choice to not be immersed in for even 5 seconds of our entire lives.
These pretend “requests for clarification” from white people always circle back around to the white person explainingtheir rules of engagement TO us. the overt and covert messages we get from these constant lectures is thatWhite people and ONLY WHITE PEOPLE get to decide THE RULES OF SOCIETY, WITHOUT EXCEPTION. No matter who else gets hurt or trampled underfoot by your manifest destiny, it is our DESTINY to sit down, shut up, and let white people do what you want. These “inquiries” are spoken with the intention to “take back” the white’s only entitlement to do whatever they damn well please without ever having to stop and consider the impact on the rest of the world or any other human beings at all first. They see this unearned entitlement as being stolen from them, even though they never deserved it in the first place.
All this “dialogue” in the form of fake questions happens only when we are lucky enough to be “asked” anything by white people, who seem to be obsessed lately with making sure us brown folks understand exactly what racism looks like, but only of they get to define it.
Watching white people explaining racism to us is more painful than watching blind people leading other blind people around a thorny vine patch. At least the actually sightless people realize they are blinded and would know to PAY ATTENTION TO EXTERNAL FEEDBACK, to listen for audible cues, maybe even accept the suggestions of the people around them that have already tangled with those exact vines directly or that are not blinded.
Whereas white people ‘splaining about racism to us are so busy shouting down the people who can see the racism (because we actually experience being oppressed by it) in their attempts to define it for us at the exclusion of any input we may have. They refuse to admit they are blind and lost because there’s just no possible way that white people aren’t the final word, be all, end all experts about how the world is supposed to be experienced, and nobody else’s experience will ever, ever, approach having the same legitimacy. The fact that other people have different experiences is so inconceivable that they have to plug their ears and scream like angry geese at anyone that dares to suggest otherwise.
I had an ignorant white man actually demand an explanation from me about just exactly how I am so “threatened,” because he’d been to my house one time, and he can he know from one 3 day his visit that I am not in any REAL danger, and I need to stop being so over dramatic! Apparently his visit gave him some vast insight to my whole entire existence, so much so that he knew things about my life that apparently even I did not know about. He knew so much more than me about my lived experience that he felt compelled to accuse me of making up some false danger I “like to pretend” I am in. His question about just exactly where the danger was coming at me from, had zero grounding in any kind of actual concerns he had for my safety or well being. He was not asking me in order to ally himself with me should I need defending in the future, he was insulting me by pretending to ask a question. He wanted to make sure that I have a solid grasp on HIS reality, that the danger to my person was just me being paranoid. He simply couldn’t see it, so therefor I must be making up the entire thing. This is how most white people address racism to us.
“Looking for” outrage and something to be angry about.
I blocked him because first of allwe do not OWE anyone an explanation of our experiences for free. We do not owe anybody justification of our feelings. Demanding to know people’s personal detail is exerting privilege over them that you did nothing to earn and do not deserve. I recognized the abusive and gaslighting nature of his question. He wasn’t asking me because he wanted to learn anything, he was “asking” me in order to ‘splain to me how I am wrong. This would have been my reward, no matter how I would have responded.
It only ever occurs to white people, usually hetero cis men, ever accuse anyone of “Looking for something to be angry about.” It is the epitome of privilege to live a life where the outrage is not something that is just a part of your day that starts as soon as you have to start interacting with the ubiquitous ignorant white people in our communities, abusive and steeped supremacy, or look at social media for 2 minutes.
When you’re not a cis heterosexual white male, the oppression envelopes you and surrounds you always. Accusations of “LOOKING for something to outraged by” are an INVENTION OF WHITE MEN to used gaslight their abuse of us.
They like to hurl it at us as if it was an actual thing to anybody else that is not a cisgender, heterosexual, white-skinned male.
It is just as ignorant as the saying, “It’s a compliment.” about street harassment. When you are not the one who gets followed or catcalled by creepers all the time, hit on all the time like your very existence had no other possible purpose on earth than to be someone’s dream-girl, or in my case, a demure, subservient “Lotus blossom”, (but I get to be a little nasty because “Vietnamese women tend to whoredom” or so I have had it patiently explained to me before by wishful-thinking white men trying to get me to see it their way and “tend to whoredom” with them, as is the nature of my people. Yes, I said THEM PLURAL and not him singular. Sit with that.)
Us “Oriental” women are so much easier to love when we do not indicate in any way that we have free will or opinions of our own unless they are adorable and cutesy also, though it is sometimes possible to sneak something by if it is presented with much eyelash fluttering and really high pitched, nonthreatening cartoon voices, because the dudes that want anime wives are fragile as fuck.
When you’re not brown, your skin color ensures that you do no have to try half as hard as everybody else on earth. Since white people based on skin and only skin, are literally nothing special when they don’t have brown people to elevate themselves above.
For example in the arena of cultural appropriation around food, white people are erecting the straw men arguments of “Recipes are meant to be shared!” “I can make a burrito if I want to and I am outraged at the (*nonexistent) suggestion that I cannot!” “I Learned this recipe in Belize and I REFUSE to stop making it!”
They struggle so hard to find way to be on victim side of the equation in order to deny the privilege they have. They are not asking “What if I was taught this by my Polynesian brother in law?” because they are worried they might inadvertently exploit another human being, they are protesting a perceived loss of privilege.
In all the rivers of white tears over this I have had to wade through this week, not one single one of the white people who needed to engage, mostly in order to get me to come around to seeing it their way, how cultural appropriation is just simply NOT A THING, and even trying to talk about it is “Divisive” but it all boils down to the same petulant white bullshit: “NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT I CAN’T DO!”
White privilege tells you this is fair, this is what “justice” looks like. You get to wear the giant steel toed boots and stomp around as hard as you please all over everyone else’s shit and we do not get to have any opinion at all that includes you stopping hurting us. When we try to even tell you you’re hurting u, not even to stop, but to even just point out what you’re doing, suddenly we’re “attacking” you and “alienating” our “allies” which we clearly did not want in the first place, or else we would sit down, shut up, and let the white people erase the problem by forbidding all mention of it intheir presence.
A Canadian guy I met that has lived in Oregon for the last 10 years and travels a lot for his job was telling me about how he deliberately does all he things he can in to to get flagged for extra security screenings because at busy airports it’s faster than the slow security scan at the main gates that everyone else goes. Why do people not stand in line and wait for things like civilized adults? There is no fucking entitlement to blow past the lines everybody else has to submit to, but people are always looking for it.
This guy boasted to me as if he were working on a travel column in his head, detailing all the ways he tries to get flagged by TSA. He intentionally jumbles all his electronics together so the wires make a suspicious-looking mess in the x-ray machines, he buys one-way tickets at the last minute, something about checking in at the right time and place that was not the check-in desk.
In all honesty he lost me at “Make it look like a bomb in there” because his advice would likely get me fucking taken round back and shot or at the very least detained for an entire day (I ALREADY get the extra pat down every time. I would never invite it) and some other things he mentioned to try to get himself flagged for the extra pat-down in the back room. Do white people just not feel as dehumanized when getting searched and treated like a terrorist. Don’t answer that, it’s because this is likely the only time wipopo get searched at all.
So much white privilege! Brown people, citizen or not, famous or not, get detained for hours at a time like Mrs. Ali and her son who were twice detained for hours for no reason besides having scary names and brown skin. If he prefers that treatment to the real lines, his privilege is what protects him and not the other darker passengers that get intercepted. But he merrily shared s secrets to faster travel with me, without a hint of self-awareness. No, that’s not right, he had self-awareness, had no Brown-awareness. The reason this makes me angry is that there is news all over the place about how POC are detained, mistreated, even killedand for this white man to be so well insulated that he just didn’t even think about it is why the our lethal battle with white supremacy will remain invisible and we have so few real allies. Between the white saviors telling us to sit down, shut up and let them save us their way, and Captain Oblivious Skymiles over there the rest of us are sitting in the middle right fuct.
If this white man had bothered to pay attention to the news, he would have known better and not come off as sounding like such an ass while he bragged to me about telling off cops and security personnel and other stuff they shoot people for who are not white men for.
This is exactly the kind of thing I mean about the total lack of awareness to what affects us that invalidates much of the well meaning advice we get advice from white people, who continue to be puzzled when we decline their useless and sometimes potentially lethal suggestions and practices as if we were being hostile.
Oregon is literally as welcoming to us as any average dreadlocked white “liberal” They adore us to the point of fetishization. They even “identify” with us! That tolerace but never full on respect of our “diversity” lasts exactly until the first time we speak up about the impeialist behaviors they are actively engaging in themselves, like cultural erasure and appropriation of sacred garments as costumes to get wasted in and throw up on.
Once we decide we are safe enough with that person to have a candid conversation with them about how their actions hurt us, they feel attacked, get defensive, bust out all the same tired old racist excuses white supremacists make so they can maintain their position of societal dominance. As soon as we no longer sit in silence about their behavior, as soon as they start to feel that we are about to revoke their “good person” free pass to do the exact same shit that the mean old racists that they could never, ever possibly be one of also do, then we’re “alienating our allies” and treating innocent, tolerant, them like our “enemy” and they don’t want to be our friend anymore.
But they still count us on their mental token collection so they can keep believing they are so liberal and inclusive because they tolerated our outburst so graciously and they have forgiven us for it entirely.
First of all the media needs to stop kissing their lilly-white asses by calling them by their chosen title. Stop fawning all over them by calling them the “alt-right” THEY ARE NAZIS. We need to stop calling them anything but Nazis. Let’s not pretend this Reichsparteitage des Portlanden Volkes isn’t a rally for a terrorist to celebrate his recent victory of killing two meddling SJWs, no matter what kind of terrorist chest thumping it started out to be. They’ve drawn blood, tasted the murder of innocents and are emboldened. In perfectly infuriating form, Nazis got the go ahead from the Federal government of MurKKKa to have their display of terrorism to everyone that is not white like them.
The federal government just approved terrorist display in a loud and clear Fuck You to everyone that is not a white supremacist, everyone that gives a shit for the Muslim girls that were assaulted or the men that gave their lives to shut the attack down.
If white people don’t start calling this shit in, the fascist will kill everyone that’s not white and you’r gong to have to make your own burgers, clean your won offices, mow your own lawns, harvest your own foods, and do your own laundry. I have to admit you’re probably going to be all right in the burrito department though.
The longer it takes for the civil war to stop these Nazis dead the more innocent people will be killed by them. The death toll has already begun and the bad guys are winning. If I was staying in America I would be very worried about the good guy not winning this time because only one side is willing to murder and meanwhile our “allies” are lighting candles, singing Kumbaya and telling everyone to stay nice. You can’t “nice” and “free speech” away Fascism, you need to fucking fight them!
My prediction is that there will be some scuffles. The police will keep the kind of “peace” that makes white people the most comfortable. Maybe some bloodied noses. If anyone gets shot it won’t be the white supremacists that deserve it. The peaceful white “allies” that show up t counterprotest will home feeling smug and like they helped. The brown folks that live in Oregon will get the same message loud and clear that we’ve always heard living in the Pacific Northwest. We know how sincere the drum circle forming, dreadlock having, totem pole erecting, “tribal” and hiragana tattooed West Coast White Liberals and their subsidiaries Well Meaning White Women who cry a lot, and sap our energy keeping them reassured they good allies so they can keep their token friend are about their allyship. They excel at being the victims of reverse racist attacks on them, which as far as I can tell is any speech that does not express the most sincerest and deepest gratitude to them for trying so hard to see us as equals. The white people of Portladia delight in reminding us how expendable our bodies, security, or emotional well being are not relevant in the defense of Free Speech for white people.
The fact that the speech is terrorism is not a criteria in the “rules” that the fascist Rulers are in charge of creating and enforcing:
“All rules and regulations were followed by the applicant for the permit, including the timeframe for review,” the GSA said. “Since the permit was lawfully obtained to assemble at this federal location, GSA has no basis to revoke the permit.”
You don’t have to say the exact words, “fascism” or “white supremacy” to enforce, promote or defend it. You simply to send the police to be their taxpayer funded armed security team for the Nazis.
It only highlights that you knew it was wrong but you’re too much of an asshole to apologize
The fallout of your racist assault does not go away just because you deleted your post after getting called out any more than stopping punching someone in the face makes their nose stop bleeding suddenly.
Your victim is still hurt even after you hide the shame of what you said. You are still a bigoted asshole that assaulted someone. Simply deleting does shit to make amends. Do better! There is no apology in quietly deleting your words, and doing so without any kind of admission of culpability;ity for your attack just proves that you still think you’re right about your asshole ideas, but you just learned that everyone else sees what a dickbag you are.
Simply deleting your offensive post without comment is the ultimate “Sorry not sorry.” and it makes you look even worse than when you only just said the ignorant thing because you’re admitting it was fucked up thing to post, but not so fucked up that you need to take and responsibility for the people you hurt with it.
I want to unpack white male dominant language use to discuss this sick American tradition in this article.
“Child” marriage is almost never forced on boys in America unless it’s in the context of that boy getting the child-bride pregnant.
Minors cannot refuse the marriage, but minors also cannot legally consent to sex. Every single instance of child “marriage” is human trafficking that ends in normalized rape.
A parental or legal “guardian” is required to sign for their ward to marry
Parental consent trumps the girl’s consent, they can sign her freedom away whether she wants it or not.
These parents are literally signing up their daughters to be raped at will by a man of the parents’ choosing.
The white male author says the 11 year-old girl “had become pregnant” AS IF there was any other possible way for an 11 year old girl to be impregnated than by rape. “After her rapist impregnated her…” would have been the true way to speak about this. Saying she “had become pregnant” erases and normalizes the CHILD RAPE that was required to get her to that state.
When pedophiles rape children, the only possible reason to try to lighten, soften or downplay what they did is out of respect of the child’s feelings. Other than that one situation, any efforts to sugarcoat child rape by calling it anything else normalizes the sexual abuse of children.
The most egregious examples of this I have ever seen was when the Oregonian, which was rightfully called out for it, reported the repeated raping of a child by then Mayor Neal Goldschmidt as an “affair” because he continued to rape her for three years.
When a child is legally signed away to be a much older man’s slave and get raped as part of the contract, we do every one of those girls a disservice when we use pretty, milder words to erase the truth exactly how badly their parents, and this nation by extension for allowing it to remain legal, violates and fails them.
Oregon’s Governor, Kate Brown, took to Facebook this morning to Gaslight the violence that occurs against the brown-skinned citizens of Portland everyday with claims that the currently whitest, and historically one of the most racist states in the entire country is a “welcoming” place the day after two people were murdered by one of the MANY Nazis that Oregon nurtures and protects does nothing to help Oregon’s white people face the changes that need to be made in how Oregon treats both the people it’s policies marginalizes and the fascists it promotes. White Oregonians do not need to be reassured that this is a safe and welcoming place to everyone, which is patently false anyway, but to have their faces shoved deep into the stinky shit they harbor inside so that something can FINALLY be done to change it.
EXECUTIVE LEVEL GASLIGHTING FROM AN ELECTED OFFICIAL with this OBLIVIOUS, WHITE NONSENSE RIGHT HERE is why MurKKKa will NEVER progress beyond white supremacy!
Governor Brown could have taken this opportunity to OWN UP TO and highlight Oregon’s OVERBEARING racism and vowed to do better.
Instead she adopted the all too familiar “LIE ABOUT IT AND PRETEND IT ISN’T REAL” route instead.
The only benefit of the doubt I might give her is a legitimate fear of this heavily armed terrorist organization the even the city government acknowledges is violent, racist, and unfair. But here’s more evidence that race issues do not matter, even when they are ADMITTED Nazi’s, since wipopo so desperately need to cling to the false notion to believe that police are good people.
It is particularly offensive of her to adopt this denialism the VERY NEXT DAY after a KNOWN NAZI murdered two people in a racist hate crime in broad daylight in downtown Portland on the public transportation. This ignorant white bitch has the audacity to actually claim that “Oregon is a welcoming place to all.” AS A REACTION TO A HATE CRIME!!!
The most disturbing aspect of this blindness to me is how literally UNREPRESENTED the rest of us are, us that don’t fall under this imagined umbrella of inclusiveness she ignorantly invokes when she welcomes us to “Travel Through our community” safely.
As a brown lady that has called this state home my entire adult life (over 30 years) I can personally attest to the fact that the ability to believe for a even part of a second that Oregon is welcoming to brown people is something that white people, ONLY WHITE PEOPLE, AND NOBODY ELSE THAT HAS ACTUALLY BEEN HERE could ever pretend to agree with. To say such a fucking idiot thing literally the day after two people were KILLED IN A HATE CRIME BY SOMEONE THAT WAS KNOWN TO BE, BRAGGED ABOUT and MADE PUBLIC APPEARANCES to protest our very existence and was never jailed or added to any terrorism watch lists in spite of it, is just beyond offensive.
If you hold a position of power in the government, it should be a requirement of the job to run ignorant dismissive bullshit like through at least one POC before assaulting us with it. If she had tried to say that while looking anyone not lillywhite and marinated in privilege would do a spit take and keel over laughing. And that would have been a POLITE reaction.
It is DEMONSTRABLY FALSE that Oregon, and ESPECIALLY PORTLAND where the murders happened is not now nor has it ever been a “welcoming” or inclusive state, as is borne out by the horrible murders. The MURDERER* was a KNOWN white supremacist that was permitted by Oregon’s “Welcoming” attitude to run free until the day he literally assaulted and murdered people. When white people say a place is “welcoming to all:” they mean welcoming to all OTHER WHITE PEOPLE, as they are totally OBLIVIOUS to just how UNWELCOMING their white spaces are to the rest of us.
Can we please stop referring this shitbag they caught who harassed two women for appearing to be Muslim, murdered two of the three people that came to their defense, IN FRONT OF WITNESSES, as a “Suspect”? He’s not a goddamn “suspect” He’s a FUCKING TERRORIST! He’s a fucking MURDERER! He’s not a damn “suspect” until proven guilty in a court of law.
I wrote about this before when I saw a similar blathering rant from the head of the ACLU in Texas, where she went on and on about how welcoming and accepting the “real Texas she knows” is. It made me want gouge my own eyes out so that I too could be so blissfully ignorant of the word and actions of white supremacists.
I also note Governor Brown’s use of the words “TRAVEL THROUGH **OUR** COMMUNITY” as constraint our entitlement to safety, “regardless of where (the aformentioned travelers) are from”
Her problematic choice of words erases any suspicion that the Muslim women who faced the racist assault might ACTUALLY BE OREGONIANS THAT LIVE HERE FULL TIME ! IMAGINE THAT MUSLIMS FROM OREGON!!! It’s only hard to do because white people want to portray our presence as a fleeting, temporary inconvenience that they have patiently wait out.
It is this subtle from of othering that allows fascist idiots continue to believe that no brown person could ever possibly be a “REAL AMERICAN” and start screaming at us to “go home” when they see us, and we are literally on the bus trying to do just that.
“Sgt. Pete Simpson with Portland Police added the suspect appeared to be acting erratically, and wasn’t necessarily focused on anti-Muslim insults during the attack.”
Hear that, white people? You can stop feeling bad about the racist oppression we face every day, and especially the racist incident where two men were murdered and another wounded coming to the defense of the two Muslim women he was attacking because the mean man was “erratic” (mentally impaired, not a self identifying Nazi at all!) and “wasn’t necessarily focused on anti-Muslim insults during the attack.”
Go back to your talk of his mental instability whiteys, we can just drop the whole “anti-Muslim” “Racism KILLS” part of the conversation now because it clearly was not about that, as evidenced by the fact that not every. single. word. that fell out of the murderer’s mouth was anti-Muslim and the ones that were not anti-Muslin cancel out the words that were.
I really appreciated how in her book, An Indigenous Peoples History of The United States, Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz never once refers to black people as “slaves” but rather “the enslaved” and the escapees were “self-liberated Africans” instead of the oppressor coded words “escaped” or “runaway” “slaves.”
I am reminded of this because I just saw a meme I am not sharing on Facebook because it depicted a mass of black people as “former slaves” which unforgivingly locks them into an identity they never wanted or asked for, even after it is not even their “identity” anymore.
It is important to recognize that Black people were ENSLAVED by white people, they were not “slaves” except to the racists that owned and tortured them, they were still PEOPLE, even while enslaved.
It is oppressive to not allow black people to escape what was forced on them by continue to slap the “slave” label on them at every opportunity instead of using language that is truthful and honest about what happened to them and acknowledges that slavery as something that was imposed on them and not something they just inherently are.
First I will rebut it with this scholarly essay because white people demand of me that I prove what I write is not “just my opinion” (because fuck me and my lived experiences, amirite?) before I am permitted any claims to validity, so here you go, just to prove these are not concepts that I am just pulling out of my ass spontaneously just to offend you with because ultimately I live to hurt your tender white feefees and live on the sustenance form of your delicious white tears, to hear of some you whinge: White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard to Talk to White People About Racism
First this bit of ignorant bullshit: “sometimes it can feel like the performance itself is more significant than the content of the call-out.”
This happens ***ONLY*** BECAUSE, IF, AND WHEN the white asshole being called out CHOOSES to argue, defend, and resist everything and anything any of us try to tell them about systemic oppression!
We’re not calling anybody out “incorrectly” or too harshly or too publicly, that is not a thing! The people getting called out are the ones that get defensive and start acting like jerks and JUST LIKE THE RACIST ASSAULT they are getting called out for, that’s on them, not us! When some jackass thinks pointing out that they have white skin and therefore white privilege make me the racist, there is nothing left to do than treat them like a feral dog, because that is ALL the intellect they are gonna be able to muster up for this “debate” and convincing them to stop being racist instantly takes a back seat to letting them know they just used the language of racist assholes and if they intended to “be racist” or not, that shit will not be tolerated around ME. IT IS THE RIGHT OF EVERYONE TO NOT BE SUBJECTED TO RACIST ASSAULTS!
Racist attacks, just like with rapist attacks, when one is committed, is 100% EVERY SINGLE TIME ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, THE ATTACKER’S FAULT!!! Holding the VICTIM accountable for their own REACTION to a racist assault, no matter how “minor” another racist might deem it, as some kind of duty of the victim to “educate” their abuser is SICKENING!!! This is like beseeching someone who has just been raped to gently take their assailant aside and kindly explain to them what they did wrong in the hopes they might no do it anymore. FUCK THAT TONE POLICING BULLSHIT!!! I want racists that think it’s OK to attack me out loud the to be AFRAID TO SPEAK IN PUBLIC ABOUT IT!!!
They can go be racists in the privacy of their own fetid homes, but out here, in the rest of the civilized world, we’re trying to have a damn society, and if we’re not allowed to make the most egregiously uncivilized among us to ashamed or afraid to speak up (LIKE THEY WANT TO KEEP THE REST OF US!!!), then we FAIL as a society! Oh shit, a fascist is the president now, SEE WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO NOT PUNCH ALL THE NAZIS? THEY FUCKING WIN WHEN WE ARE POLITE TO THEM! I am never obliged to kiss the owner of the foot in the boot on my throat. The fact that YOU cannot see that is my throat they are standing on is a reason to IGNORE your shit advice to be kinder to them, not to heed it!
If even the inadvertent white supremacist and casual racists would ever, ever, just read what we told them and said, “Hey, I see your point! That really was a vile sentiment I just expressed and I see that now because I am taking into account the context of historical events and current modalities of oppression and imperialism maintaining a choke hold on you, my brown friend that knows about this because you live it every day and are more knowledgeable about what it’s like to experience systemic oppression, and I am sincerely sorry for what I said and I vow to do better from now on!”
The bullshit DRAMA and “performance” as he puts it DOES NOT START WITH THE CALL OUT, or even the racist comment, The posturing is 100% from when the called out chooses to react like a petulant child instead of a thoughtful, compassionate adult with the ability to empathize with something even when they have not personally lived it themselves. Blaming the drama and performance aspect on anybody BESIDES the racist being called out is 100% Victim Blaming!
“calling in” has been proposed as an alternative to calling out: calling in means speaking privately with an individual who has done some wrong, in order to address the behaviour without making a spectacle of the address itself.
Almost 100% of the time, conversations that are not public in front of everybody on social media, the times an “aside” to a private chat is resorted to, they turn abusive and or threatening because the person with the dominance in the situation will use the privacy to exert their poser unchecked by any witnesses. The ugliest most racist, sexist shit that is said to me is done in private chats. If someone deserves to be made a spectacle of because they are abusing another person, WHAT gives THEM INSTEAD OF THEIR TARGET MORE CONSIDERATION FOR RESPECT? When you take an abusive racist off in private to “call in” their behavior, you are ABANDONING THEIR VICTIM so they you can spare their abuser some DESERVED public humiliation. I object to the bullshit idea that there is no transgression ever that deserves to be publicly shamed. Sexism is shameful. Racism is shameful. When people express it, they are HURTING OTHERS so they are the opposite of who should be “taken aside” and comforted and reassured and given another damn chance to act like they have a drop of basic human civility in them. If anyone is deserving of a private message it is the TARGET of the abuse. Of course the author is a man, women rarely suggest to each other that we allow ourselves to be culled from the protection of the rest of the lionesses in the pride so there’s nobody to jump in and help when the inevitable violence begins from the kind of predatory person who does this isolate and attack strategy that this writer is suggesting. I am floored at the the idea this guy actually thinks people are MORE polite to each other when out of eyeshot of everyone that can help. He clearly lives in a very different universe than me!
“most call-outs I have witnessed immediately render anyone who has committed a perceived wrong as an outsider to the community.” Banishment from my “community” of allies serves the purpose of keeping me safe and alive, the poison far away, and the most staunch near at hand. It is a valid and legitimate survival tool for marginalized people to recognize who really has out backs and who is only pretending to be an ally but still harbors ignorant and hurtful opinions and stereotypes about us that then get echoed, amplified and reinforced by the white supremacy that controls the rules and kick them the fuck out of our community.
“In the context of call-out culture, it is easy to forget that the individual we are calling out is a human being”
In the context of coddling racists culture, it is easy to forget that racism is rooted in DENYING PEOPLE THEIR HUMANITY. WHY is the belligerent racist asshole that says I am less than human because of my skin more deserving of this consideration and reminder than THEY are the “human being” and not the poor Human Being they just abused? Why are you bandaging the fist of the assailant and not the face of the UNDESERVING person they just assaulted?
“One action becomes a reason to pass judgment on someone’s entire being, as if there is no difference between a community member or friend and a random stranger walking down the street (who is of course also someone’s friend).”
“Skin Color becomes a reason to pass judgment on my entire being, as if there is no difference between a community member or friend and a random stranger walking down the street (who is of course also someone’s friend).”
What is more putrid and unfair, being judged for SOMETHING OFFENSIVE YOU ACTUALLY REALLY SAID OR DID or for something you got in a genetic lottery that was 100% beyond your control? How is failing to hold people accountable ever going to fix anything? How does pulling them aside show the person they assaulted they had an ally? Pulling the offender aside is CODDLING THE ASSAILANT. This writer talks as though public shaming of ignorant behavior and racialized abuse is not effective in making these people too embarrassed to that shit out loud anymore, and that is wrong.
Also AS IF ANY RACISTS EVER commits JUST ONE racist act! Are you fucking kidding me? Racist are not occasional racists engaging in a relaxing hobby on occasion, they are ignorant judgmental racist assholes 24/7. If they are getting called out, even if that “one action” is all that was spotted, White Supremacy IS A WAY OF LIFE. No fucking racist ever says or does “just the one” racist thing. No racist redeems themselves by baking a cake for their sick old black neighbor when they are voting for fascist with their other hand. People who say racist things are all in on the whole racism mindset because benefits of white supremacy is so all encompassing they are as blind to it as fish are to water.
Racism levels THE REST OF US to sub-human standard, I will reserve my sympathy for its victims, not its perpetrators that dare to verbalize their dehumanizing thoughts out loud. This idea that they are the parties in the equation in a racist assault (or as the author would like to downgrade to “ignorant comment” or “accidental misuse of constantly shifting language”) that are deserving of any sympathy and understanding AS IF the fucking internet was to real, AS IF there was any goddamned excuse to still be an ignorant racist asshole in this day and age! .Sorry I don’t see it.
Anyone that I still that obnoxiously racist in this day and age, if they haven’t clued in by now, are NOT GOING TO CHANGE, so the next best thing is to humiliate and shame them EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. they they say something racist. We need to make them understand how unacceptable verbalizing racist crap is with rapidity and severity and and as often as is required to make them understand that they don’y get to say that in public because everyone around them will react with revulsion and disgust. I cannot be convinced that racists deserve ANY DIFFERENT TREATMENT THAN THEY DOLE OUT. Racist NEED to make us feel inferior so that they can muster up some pride in something, because most of them are worthless, non-contributing wastrels blaming their poverty and paths of crappy decisions on the immigrants that “stole” jobs they never tried to get in the first place, or privileged douchebags with familial money (that if there was a drop of justice in the world would be taken away from them and given back to the descendants of the enslaved and redlined into perpetual poverty people that inheritance was founded on).
The science is on about “changing their minds” That is not on the agenda for many of us anymore, now the whole point is just to make them SHUT THE FUCK UP by pointing out how stupid and ridiculous they sound until they rage-quit in frustration or are too embarrassed and humiliated to continue and they go away. If you are identifying MORE with the poor belligerent racist asshole that cannot keep his ugly yap shut and deserves to be humiliated, that is for YOU to sit with. What it is NOT for you to do is tell anyone else how we should address our abusers ESPECIALLY about ways to make the conversation nicer for them.
Racism IS AN ASSAULT!!! When a person of color calls out a racist assault, we’re not trying WIN A NEW ALLY! We’re trying to make the violent assault STOP. Allies that had to be convinced we are fully human first, and allies that hold our subservience and a “respectful tone” over our heads as a condition of equality are STILL OPPRESSING US. They are shit allies. Winning their over the hearts and minds of abusive assholes that need to be :”called in” or reminded to keep a civil tongue in their head is secondary, if not totally irrelevant to making them take that offensive noise away from our immediate vicinity and understand that of they bust it out again, they will be publicly humiliated and shamed. This is no less than what they DESERVE.
Nothing makes me more mad than seeing someone tone police our reactions to make our suffering more palatable to our abusers. This idea that if we sweeten our words enough then eventually the racists will just naturally come around and stop abusing has NO HISTORICAL PROOF OF WORKING. If you know of an enslaved culture that was freed because the nicest, most respectful and kindest of all the slaves got together and reasonably asked really, really nicely if maybe, possibly, just perhaps, kind massa would be so inclined to free them today? Please point me to it! My research indicates that no oppressor was won over with kind appeals for mercy from the people he was oppressing. That equality is NEVER just handed over by the ruling class because the people on the bottom were so nice that the oppressors forgot to steal for them ever again.
“when it comes to being called out, narrow definitions of a person’s identity count for everything.”
“when it comes to being assaulted by racist words, narrow definitions of a person’s identity count for everything.” More accurate this way!
Again this writer wants to take the suffering that is LITERALLY CAUSED by the same shit he’s trying to minimize and blame the people that resist it. This is beyond fucked up!
“there are ways to call people out that do not reduce individuals to agents of social advantage.”
When everything a person says is directly shat out from the perspective that can ONLY EXIST because of their white privilege, their male privilege, their heterosexual/cs privilege, then leaving out this vital part of the discussion makes the whole entire discussion moot. If the entire point of the dialogue is to make someone see how their own privilege is causing them to sound like a irrevocable douchebag descendants of slaveholders or fascists without mentioning the specific traits that bought them the ability to maintain that fucked up attitude, then pointing out those advantages they were born with and are now beating someone else less fortunate over the head with is 100% ON POINT.
How about we worry less on the right way to tell people to please stop being abusive racist privileged white fucks and thinks of ways to stop blaming the victims for not presenting our bleeding wounds in a kind, understanding, inclusive, respectful and gentle enough way to make the abuse stop?
Today’s social media angry white tears seem to be about how unfair it was for the two white ladies that admitted in an interview that they stole their burrito technique/recipe from unwilling Mexican women they spied through the windows of, to close their shop because of the “PC Police” You know, those insufferable assholes always going around trying to make sure we all get treated fairly and with respect, even if we are not white? Yeah, those JERKS decided that when white people assume ownership of things they stole and profit from it at the expense of the peoples they are stealing from, that we should not buy those things from the thieves and should INSTEAD buy them from the people whose cultures invented them and have been making that thing uninterrupted for the entire time.
CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER
for those poor thieving white women selling their stolen goods to other indifferent white people who care not for social justice and think cultural appropriation is not even a thing!
Then, put those ignorant women on the other side of that deep salty river of tears.
Then make them live under brutal regimes that were installed by Americans there so they experience violence, terrorism, and rape as a weapon of war until they cannot take it anymore and have to flee, be killed, or kill themselves to end the suffering.
Then make these poor, poor white women who can’t sell burritos anymore, who will have to come up with some way to support themselves when they arrive, since they can’t sell burritos due to the market glut caused by all the other white people selling burritos, swim across this wide salty river of tears for their loss of profit, with all the worldly goods they could fit in a bundle on their heads.
Then have guys in air conditioned trucks shoot live rounds at them, if they survive the hundred mile desert crossing between the river and the border, to let them know exactly just how unwelcome on their ‘ancestral’ homelands they are because it got “discovered” and someone else lives here now.
Then, if they survived getting shot at and are not caught, detained, or deported again, make them take only exploitative, underpaying, hard physical labor jobs from abusive bosses that treat them like slaves to survive while living in constant fear of being deported until they meet the near impossible conditions to attain legal status.
Then even after they are legally “Americans” again, make them live in constant wariness about being harassed by overzealous immigration agents and suffer the abuse of people that cannot see them as fully realized human beings no matter what.
If those beleaguered white women who “had to” close their burrito shop because they admitted to stealing what they sold there from unwilling Mexican women they literally spied through the window on, just maybe, I may shed just one salty tear about the splendid and effective checking of their unearned (like ALL skin-color based treatment) white privilege, but only because of all the pathetic sniveling white people who think all white people should get to own everything and see no problem with what these women did or how the fact that they stopped doing it is great news for EQUALITY and the legitimate Latinx that are selling the food of their ancestors. If I shed a tear it will be in frustration, not for the culture thieves that got effectively called out and shut down for being shitty human beings.
I have some serious issues with people armchair diagnosing other people as “not eligible” to use fidget toys, or talk about spoons or all the other ways that disabled people express their self-loathing onto others that are more than likely in the same boat as them.
I am of the mind that NOBODY IS “NORMAL” There is no such thing as a “Neurotypical” person. What would that even look like? There is NOT ONE HUMAN ALIVE that is not “disabled” in some way. 100% Perfectly functional is NOT A THING!!! We are all of us, each and every one,traumatized from simply existing in this world.
If you were blessed with functional parents that did not cause trauma in your childhood, capitalism, patriarchy, our utterly devoid of compassion, ‘meritocracy-based’ society, and the rest of the traumatized walking wounded out there will cause you emotional trauma at some point in your life.
Just because a person does not have a NOTE FROM A DOCTOR to “legitimize” their disability does not mean they do not ACTUALLY HAVE ANY DISORDERS. Especially when you think about the state of access to healthcare for Americans since Reagan was president and the rug under our feet began unraveling. How many MORE people would be diagnosed if they were able to go to a doctor at all?
I think this judgement and hostility towards the supposedly “able bodied” is internalized self-loathing of disabled people. It is DELUSIONAL to believe that we can look at any person doing or saying something “reserved” for the disabled and decide FOR THEM APROPOS OF NOTHING that this person has “no right.” How are you qualifying this? How does someone get the “right” to “act disabled” and why are you thinking this is something anyone who does not own it wants to participate in? Has you announcing your disability, or even pausing from hiding it for a bit, ever provided you the “privilege” you are projecting as being “stolen” from you? Or are you engaging in exactly the same behavior you are decrying by being the gatekeeper that personally decides for all of humanity who is “damaged” enough to engage in the behaviors of the differently-abled?
I suffered ‘undiagnosed’ mental issues for most of my life, and I had access to healthcare in that time. I was “functional.” I had a full time job that I excelled at, I was so adept at faking it that any outside observer would never have guessed how much time I spent thinking about taking my own life. The ADD and Autism Spectrums were not even thing that anyone not directly involved with the psychiatric care profession knew about until the last 5-10 years. How can ANYBODY seeing someone play with a fidget toy, talk about how few spoons have, or the other “appropriative” behaviors of the able-bodied and decide FOR THEM that they are ‘not allowed’ to do those things?
I understand and hear the frustration of the differently abled, to see people doing the things they were punished for doing, like fidgeting. It is legitimately infuriating to see anyone “get away with” something you were forbidden from, especially when it would have helped you so much. It sucks and it hurts. I feel you!
But, I do not align with this “Gatekeeping” attitude that offhandedly assigns a “perfectly healthy” label to another human being. How are YOU so sure the person you are observing and judging is not just as broken as you are? Why on earth would a person who does not get any self-soothing from “stimming” even bother with a fidget toy? Who are YOU to decide exactly how disabled a person has to be to engage in this coveted behavior? Does your disability give you a second sight that allows you to see if anyone has an illness or not, or are you just assuming? How much less anger and frustration will you feel in your day if you saw these people as others in the tribe that cope in the same ways you do, instead of seeing them someone taking from you something they “have no right to” away from you?
My suggestion is to sit back down from your indignant pose and contemplate the possibility that the person you are judging has been on the EXACT SAME JOURNEY AS YOU, but maybe even be not as far along AS YOU because you have a “diagnosis” and someone else does not. Are you really saying you want to be one of those assholes that demands to see the “support animal” paperwork whenever they see a working dog in a public building and the person is not visibly disabled enough?
Being functional and disabled is not like being black or brown, you cannot just look at someone’s skin color or face and just know without a doubt that they harbor zero hidden illnesses. That diagnosis is false. You are only making things harder for all the other disabled folk out there by de-normalizing coping mechanisms that by all rights SHOULD BE NORMALIZED. If the argument is that disabled people have been punished for engaging in these “fads” before they were fads, perpetuating the taboo is the opposite of what will help the most people. Why you wanna be like that?
Assimilation EVEN WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS is required if a person wants to not become a ward of the state and surrender their humanity in the process. Many people have invisible disabilities and like them to stay that way. Many people have undiagnosed mental illness. Many people have diagnosis, but it’s A. NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS WHAT THEIR PRIVATE AND PERSONAL MEDICAL HISTORY IS! B. are trying to keep their diagnosis on the down low to avoid exactly the kind of discrimination you are doling out, but at an employment and housing attainment purposes. Yo\u know the discrimination is real, so stop acting like full disclosure is a requirement for anybody to engage in whatever self-care techniques and wording works for them.
Mental illness is not a facial tattoo. Rather than automatically assuming the person you are judging is able-bodied or neurotypical, try feeling some of the same amount of compassion you wish people would have had for you as you were struggling to cope with your disability instead.
I have been unsubscribing from a lot of mailing lists in preparation for escape. This is the lovely, locally owned nursery where I bought most of the fruit trees I planted in my backyard. I have ordered trees or vines from them about this time every year for the last 10 years.
To all the ignorant white people, including the bitch I blocked from my Facebook this morning, that keep telling me I need to “get counseling for my anger” because I am eloquent about what makes me livid, my PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR AGREES WITH ME AND MY RIGHT TO FEEL ANGRY. Your “advice” that I seek counseling specifically in order to be less angry is 100% BULLSHIT!!! Have you never been to counseling? It is NOT meant to be an exercise in STUFFING OUR FEELINGS! What kind of shit counselor have you been going to that you think my seeing one will make me more tolerant of your white supremacist bullshit? NONE of the many therapists I have ever cliented with have EVER been about making me speak with fewer words an less colorful language when I express my feelings. Not. One. Therapist. Ever.
You aren’t even saying I need “therapy” because you give a shit about my mental or emotional health. It would be different if the words were spoken out of concern and caring for me, but it never is. Your advice to me to get treatment is all about YOUR FEAR NOT MY MENTAL WELL_BEING. You are tone policing an abused person about how we are allowed to talk about our abuse. You are telling someone that’s been treated unfairly that I am not allowed to speak about it in a way that feels TRUE FOR ME for your comfort, not because you give a crap about MY FEELINGS OR MENTAL HEALTH. It’s ignorant, it is privileged, and you are an asshole every single time you suggest that our anger is due to our inability to “properly contain” or express our feelings and not legitimately caused by your entitled behavior towards us. Any person of color that is angry about our treatment at the hands of ignorant white fuckers like you is not having some kind of mental crisis that is going to be counseled away. My anger, the anger of marginalized peoples is not “the problem” your shitty oppressive white attitude is. You are stepping right into the shoes of my ABUSER when you tell me my anger is groundless and I am “expressing it wrong” like Cinderella’s foot in her long lost slipper, it fits your foot, even when it’s implanted to the ankle in your mouth.
No counselor worth their salt is going to TONE POLICE anyone like you are deluding yourself into thinking what goes on in therapy. I am in therapy now, I have been in therapy off and on for the last 40 years! Not one single one of any of my my counselor’s EVER though their job was to silence me into making you more comfortable about the racist shit we deal with every day. OUR ANGER IS JUSTIFIED and YOU are the ones that need therapy to open your damn eyes to the reality that “not getting angry” and “not expressing anger” are imperialist bullshit designed to keep us from rising up! Your fear is justified because your authority is precarious and built on sand.
When white people try to convince us not to feel or express the anger about our abuse at the hands of other white people or even when we clap back at our assailant directly and immediately it is because you fully realize in your reptilian hind brains, if not your deadened the frontal lobes, that your entire fragile tower of entitlement and privilege is built on the blood, bones, sweat, cooperation and COMPLACENCY of the rest of us that were lashed and exploited and continue to be abused for our labor. You are reacting to the possibility of your tower of entitlements being capsized when we rise up and throw the yolk of unearned authority over us by not always every second responding with nothing but kindness, kowtowing and ass-kissing to you no matter how hard you slap and spit on us. My advice is that you get your balance right now by getting the fuck off my neck because when we finally do succeed in throwing white supremacy into the deep dark annals of bad times of the past you might just fall over and I might just trample your ass.
It is tiresome and exhausting to have to carefully choose our words and sentiments so as to not sound “too angry” for your fragile white comfort. YOU DO THE DAMN WORK FOR A FUCKING CHANGE!! This is not emotional labor I am willing to expend for free to your undeserving white ass anymore. You want me to coddle your sensitive white feelings? PAY ME FOR THE EMOTIONAL LABOR YOU WANT TO STEAL FROM ME OR SHUT THE FUCK UP. But don’t pretend that I am the one that needs some kind of professional help for having LEGITIMATE FEELINGS AND EXPRESSING THEM just because you don’t see them as valid.
Explain why one scenario is racist (Prices vary)
Get answers about one how one specific scenario is racist exactly. This item buys you my full attention to one question. For an extra fee I will even couch my explanation in words that are specially chosen to not injure your delicate feelings so that you can keep pretending we are friends because I did not anger you as I explain. This fee will automatically be applied if the words “I am not your enemy” are used while having the inherent racism of the incident of your choice explained to you.
I hear this from my favorite allies all the time. I am sure all of us with allies have gotten the reassurance when we talk about racist assaults that we encounter in our lives.
My first gut reaction is that that had they been present, they would have “seen” exactly what all the white strangers that did “witness” the assault saw first-hand and in person saw, N.O.T.H.I.N.G!
White people think they are just being “friendly” when they come up to total random strangers that are minding their own businesses, trying to be average everyday citizens and not exotic creatures that need to have our differentness called out to attention lest we begin to think we may actually be one of your kind, and demand our time and attention, no matter what else we have going on in our day that might actually also have relevance, to satisfy their curiosity entitlement to our time just because we are darker than the rest of the people in their line of sight are. The do not see how treating us like living prizes on their internal game of “what kind of Oriental is that?”
White people think that racist assaults have to make bruises, draw blood, or involve the invocation of the N-word to be really violent, racist, or assaults. White people do not regard the microaggressions of having our lineage demanded from us by total strangers, being ignored, or worse, tailed by security when we go shopping, as well as all the other myriads of ways that white supremacist abuse us daily and with barely any awareness that they are even discriminating, so ingrained is this oppressor material into their psyches.
Part two of my reply, “you would have probably not “seen” it, just like everyone else there, is the fact that every single person that comes forward to reassure me that they would have acted, had they been there, are each and every one affirming to me that I am in fact not safe to go go about in the world without a cadre of guardians, advocates, and allies to watch my back and leap to my defense.
I’m not mad that you weren’t there, or even that you would not have even seen the violence of the encounter, if you had been there, but thew fact that everyone, everyone, everyone that commented agreed with and added to the the “reassurance” about what they “would have…” if only they had been there to see it happen! The inadvertent point they all made is that my just being allowed to go out into world alone and unprotected is something I cannot ever take for granted. When you try to reassure me with what you would have done, you’re telling me you see that too! You’re acknowledging that I cannot really even expect to be able to leave my home without being confrontation by some ugly racist jerk that I will perpetually require your protection from. You reaffirm yourself as my great white savior and I am sure that makes you feel great, but it is as othering as it is reassuring to me that I cannot even expect to go out in public without NEEDING an entire army of great white saviors to stand up for me when all my lovely allies tell me they would have helped, had they been there, had they seen it. The past cannot be changed. It is not really as inspirational as you allies seem to believe it should be, this being told my ACTUALLY NEEDING YOU AS WILLING BODYGUARDS is the key to my survival or any expectations I may harbor about being treated as an equal instead of an exotic animal.
I found these cards at the thrift store yesterday. I did not buy them, but I took pictures.
The text says your success depends on your vocabulary. The illustrations all over the box says it depends on your being a white dude first though. Success = being a white man. You’ll know when when you’ve achieved true Slack when you get your Bob Dobbs’ haircut and start wearing a suit.
Shaun King posted a video on his Twitter feed that demonstrates when the attitude of educational discrimination is taken to it’s obvious conclusion, that white American vocabulary isn’t just the only one that can be considered for success, but that anyone using any other language or has an accent is deserving of scorn and derision.
Friends and kind strangers…
My dear friend Kandace is in an extremely emotionally abusive situation. She is trapped in a living situation with a family member who openly financially and emotionally abuses her on a daily basis. Because of the financial abuse Kandace is unable to raise and save enough money to escape her situation. She is in dire need of a hand up to get out of her current situation.
Kandace has a beautiful baby boy we call X. Unfortunately X is also now a target of the emotional abuse by his own Grandmother. This is why the situation has become so urgent. How you can be cruel to a toddler is beyond me but the situation is not a good one.
Kandace’s own Mother is mentally ill and refuses to get care for herself and terrorizes her on a daily basis. She refuses to allow Kandace to work and when Kandace does have the opportunity to work she withdraws her offer of a ride to work or allowing Kandace to use her car. Kandace uses public transportation but is often having to use said transportation at the last minute due to the rages and tantrums of her abuser refusing to take her to work at the last minute. She controls and monitors Kandace’s every move and makes it impossible for her to get ahead.
Now that Kandace’s son has become a target in the last 2 days, Kandace is desperately trying to get away. Unfortunately due to the financial abuse she doesn’t have the funds to escape. If any of you can find it in your heart to help Kandace secure a safe place for her son and get him situated in day care we would greatly appreciate it.
Again this is an urgent situation and she needs to get to a safe place ASAP. Thank you so much, in advance, for helping my friend. She’s a young, strong , beautiful woman who was taken advantage of and abused by the very person who is supposed to love and care for you the most. Her Mother.
When I trace my ancestral lines from my grandparents upwards, three out of four of those lines were immigrants who came over during the peak of American immigration in the late 1800s and early 1900s.
On my mother’s side, her father (my grandfather) was Italian, with both his parents coming over on ships to Ellis Island. Her mother (my grandmother) was Azorean, her mother born in Hawaii to indentured servants and her father who illegally smuggled himself to New England as a teenager, most likely from either São Miguel or Terceira.
On my father’s side, his father’s parents were Cretan immigrants, having come over in the early 1900s in the midst of the turmoil and violent fallout resulting from 200+ years under Ottoman occupation.
But my father’s maternal line is another story. As opposed to the poor and/or war-torn migrants that characterize the rest of my lineage, my father’s maternal line descends in part from Northern Europeans who landed in America at the dawn of this land’s occupation and colonization by white settlers.
The Lockwood family was of Norman descent, and their lineage can be traced back to Rogerus de Lockwood, who was born in the mid-1300s in village of Lockwood in Staffordshire, England. Three hundred years and six generations later, my eleventh great-grandfather Edmund Lockwood and his son Robert sailed with John Winthrop’s fleet to New England in 1630 and were among the original founders of the Massachusetts Bay Colony.
It was the settlers of the Massachusetts Bay Colony who were one of the parties of aggressors that initiated the Pequot War of 1636-1638, in which only 200 Pequots survived.
A few years later, Edmund’s son Robert married a fellow English settler in Massachusetts and had twelve children, among them my ninth great-grandfather, Gershom Lockwood, who was born in 1643 in Waterford, Massachusetts (now Connecticut). Gershom them moved to Greenwich, Connecticut, where he became a successful carpenter, a father, and most notably for the purpose of this narrative, a slave owner. Upon his death in 1719, he willed his slave to his daughter, Sarah.
Gershom Lockwood was far from the only slave owner in the family. His brother Daniel, who was a wealthy landowner in his hometown of Waterford, was a prominent slave owner, owning multiple slaves that worked his 1000+ acre farm between the Niantic and Jordan Rivers. Written ancestral history states that one of his slaves once tried to lure him into a secluded area in order to kill him, suggesting that he was anything but a benevolent master.
Further down the line, to their credit, some of the descendants of these men fought to reverse this aspect of our family’s history. My sixth great-uncle, the Hon. Samuel Drake Lockwood who was born in 1789, moved from his native state of New York to Illinois in the mid-1800s and fought tirelessly against slavery during the Illinois State Convention of 1823. He contributed significantly, both materially and editorially, to the Edwardsville Spectator, one of the most influential newspapers in the entire country in terms of the anti-slavery movement.
However, such actions on the part of their descendants does not erase the damage done. It does not erase the ancestral burden of these horrors for any of us in the family line, from my sixth great-uncle to myself. It does not release us of complicity and responsibility for the fact that we directly descend from settlers who colonized Pequot land at the founding of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, subsequently enslaved and committed genocide against the Pequot people, and then a few generations later enslaved African who were captured and brought to the American colonies against their will during the Middle Passage. I have benefitted from those actions, as has every ancestor upline from me.
And given that I can’t ameliorate these crimes, the most effective action available to me is to put forth this history as blatantly and honestly as possible, acknowledge the deeds of my ancestors, and work towards decolonization and anti-racism to the best of my ability.
I repeat: there are no actions that can or will ever erase, ameliorate, or make sufficient amends for this history.
I put this all forth because over the past few days, I have seen a wide mix of reactions towards Alex Tizon’s posthumously published article in The Atlantic (link below), most of these reactions coming from the descendants of white settlers who have condemned Tizon and expressed horror at his account of events. And while I acknowledge a gut-level bias in my anger towards these condemnations in that I had met the author a few times before his death (my time living in Eugene overlapped with his) and had a great respect for his work, my greater anger towards these condemnations lies in the hypocrisy given the likely ancestral histories of those who are making them.
Based on my own family history, which was only revealed to me in recent years through extensive research on my part (and is a history that I am almost certain most of my immediate relatives upline from me are unaware of), it occurs to me that a significant portion of white Americans who are condemning the author likely have echoing histories in their own ancestral lines, histories which have been covered over by generations’ worth of denial and silence.
Regardless of how horrifying the narrative in itself may be, Tizon owned a degree of responsibility in the end in that he told his story and made it public.
Was it enough? No. But its more than most of us have attempted. Are there valid criticisms to be made of his piece? Absolutely. But a generic moral outrage that lacks nuance is not a valid criticism.
And so I feel compelled to ask you bluntly: how many of those of you who condemn him have similar stories? How many of you have peeked into your own ancestral closets in an honest attempt to uncover the skeletons?
The *only* thing that separates Tizon’s story from the story of America as a whole is the fact that it is recent in nature. And I have no doubt that my own ancestors surely treated their own slaves much more harshly than Tizon’s family treated theirs.
Even if you truly have no slave owners in your family line, make no mistake that if you are of European descent, you *still* benefit from the horrors of slavery, genocide, and colonization. Tizon’s story is the story of the land you live on.
Moral outrage serves no legitimate purpose when it is rooted in hypocrisy and a denial of our own history. It only serves to gloss over the litany of horrors that the “greatest country on Earth” was founded on.
To see the original article about Eudocia Tomas Pulido by the now deceased Alex Tizon and more discussion about human trafficking as a modern occurrence, please join the topic Modern Human Trafficking in Equality Piazza
Okay, I am going to address a sensitive issue here, just because there is so much silence around it and it is what I call Spiritual Colonialism. I have witnessed over and over again people in the spiritual circles lifting and taking indigenous knowledge: Those of African descent, Native American, Asian. Then these people make this knowledge their own with no regard for the source of where they obtained the knowledge. They never mention their sources and will even quote back work that has been painstakingly gathered and tell you they had an original vision of it. I have seen people right here in Asheville and other places, using indigenous wisdom which they obtained in a brief moment from someone else who underwent deep training and initiations – to further themselves and their careers.
Please folks, this sense of privilege and abuse of the indigenous person and their knowledge just has to stop. It is not conducive to spiritual growth or real change. It is just a repetition of the same mentality that bred slavery and colonialism, but just under the guise of “spirituality” which actually makes it very toxic. I speak this out as a black woman of indigenous roots, who has been the victim of what I speak about, but I have also witnessed many other of spiritual wisdom keepers and teachers of African, Native American descent etc. be the victim of this too. I speak this out for all my ancestors and those ancestors who have suffered enough.
The worse thing about Spiritual Colonialism, is that those who do it, feel extremely insulted if you dare to even mention it to them. Yet, do not feel that they insulted the ancestors of my people or others by doing it.
Until we can speak this issue out, own it and stop it, then we are not working towards breaking the collective narrative of pain, suffering and imbalance. I remember once in trance I received this message from Esu, “The ancestors and deities do not see words, they see the energy behind the words.”
Dear spiritual community, Spiritual Colonialism is a psychosis that does not foster healthy balanced relations with all our relatives. Malidoma Patrice Some has often complained on his website about people who “steal” knowledge he is teaching. We know knowledge is to be seeded, spread and scattered around the globe. No one owns it, but at the same time in the spiritual tradition I grew up in, it is best practice and good etiquette to acknowledge where you are receiving your teachings and knowledge. It is best practice not to just attend someone of indigenous background or anyone’s workshop just with the idea, “oh I can lift that and run with it.” etc. etc. This is all very dishonorable, and extremely disrespectful to the spirits that actually seeded this knowledge in the first place.
Spiritual Colonialism is part of spiritual materialism where one believes knowledge can be paid for, stolen or acquired like a commodity. For years, I have been sitting on this issue. But it has become clear to me that no one of Western descent is going to mention this, I want to mention it, in honor of my ancestors and all the ancestors who have been abused yet cared for our Earth anyway. Peace…
“There’s No Changing Them” and the “That’s No Way To Treat An ‘Ally’!” Lecture That Always Follows When The Privilege of Opting Out is Called Out
White people love to say cowardly shit like:
“Sometimes you have to walk away. You cannot change people’s biases”
This is the white privilege approach to addressing racism, the option to just walk away, because when you’re white, your humanity is not being called into question. Your ability to recognize that this fight does not apply to you allows you to think it’s OK to just give up. You get to walk away with your humanity intact. You lose nothing. At the end of the day, you still get to benefit from white supremacy, so what possible motivation have you got to keep at it? Privilege and entitlement, you haz it!
My point when I engage with a racist is not to defend my humanity either. I know that no matter how smart or strong I am, I will always be attacked by bigots for refusing to be shoved into a “demure little Lotus blossom” box. When white supremacy gives you the rewards of this structure, walking away is in your best interest. I understand that, and it is clearly your prerogative if you want to chicken out because you are too fragile to rise up to racism and spit it in its face. But for the love of all that is true on earth DO NOT AT ANY POINT THINK YOU ARE ANY KIND OF ALLY. Take off the safety pin and drop “I’m an ally” from your activist CV because an “ally” you most decidedly are not.
My favorite approach when I am faced with a vocal bigot is to reprimand them verbally, loudly enough to embarrass and shame them in front of everybody else within earshot. I want everyone in the room to see what an ignorant shit the racist is. I will not quietly protect them from understanding the consequences of verbalizing white supremacist bullshit in front of other people. I am very obvious and vocal about letting them know how UNACCEPTABLE their behavior is.
~Simply walking away only ever gives bigots silent permission to keep speaking like an ignorant asshole out loud where other people can be affected by their words.~
“There is no changing their minds.” White people love to point out, as if they were saying something our lifetimes of brown experience has not amply made clear to us already. Thanks for the clue Sherlock! I’ll just put it away with all the other useful things white people like to announce like they just discovered it.
Bragging to anybody about you walk away because you know how futile it is to try to win over a racist is ridiculous! Nobody that is not a direct beneficiary of white privilege is ever going hear how proud you are of your cleverness at saving so much effort for yourself is going to think, “Now there’s an ally I can count on!” That “ally” sure is resourceful! There is literally NOTHING there for us to hang your “allyship” or even a drop of our gratitude on.
Changing the putrid shriveled minds of white supremacists is not the point anymore. Now we just need to make them as uncomfortable and as afraid as they are trying to make us brown folx feel with their ignorant hate speech.
White people frequently point to their own family members, mamas, grammas, grampas, uncles, in laws…etc. as “untouchables” when it comes to discussions about how horrific white supremacy is for everyone else that does benefit directly from it. People treat uncomfortable family dinners where old white racist felt bad enough to cry in shame like that is a bad thing. No, my “ally” THAT IS PROGRESS!!! Bigotry should feel crappy, uncomfortable and embarrassing, because it it is rooted in ignorance and is NOTHING BUT SHAMEFUL. There is no legitimate reason ever to protect, defend, or be proud about seeing eye to eye with even one oppressive aspect of it.
No more excuses! Bigotry deserves resistance EVERY SINGLE TIME AND PLACE IT REARS IT ITS UGLY HEAD, both in public and behind picket fences and picture windows. There is no bigoted mouth spouting ignorant white supremacy that does not DESERVE TO BRUTALLY AND REPEATEDLY PUNCHED. White people making space for racism in their own circles, with their own families is the MAIN reason that white supremacy flourishes in the homes of white people everywhere. Visualize holding space for us brownies to be fully realized humans instead of protecting the feelings of the bigots in your life. Your soul will be cleaner for it. Complicity in the face of bigotry makes you equally culpable of the same violence the bigot is speaking.
If their loved ones don’t tell them how fucked up they are before they go spouting that racist nonsense in public, they might just ACTUALLY get punched in the face by the angry brown person they just verbally assaulted with their ignorant words. When that happens, it will be SELF DEFENSE and that idiot oldster you have been avoiding clapping back at will have had no idea what was so offensive because the kids and grandkids just giggled and shrugged it off when he spouted that ignorance at home. Someone who mirrors back at them the same callous disregard and disrespect as they are showing would be 100% in their rights to break a pasty nose. When you do not let that old fucker know his hate speech is unacceptable, you are endangering him from getting knocked the fuck out by someone who is literally sick top death of exactly that intolerant bullshit. It would be 100% DESERVED SELF-DEFENSE.
BIGOTS NEED TO FEEL THE FEAR OF SPOUTING THEIR WHITE NONSENSE OUT LOUD AS MUCH AS WE ARE AFFECTED BY ENCOUNTERING THEIR BIGOTRY, NOT CONVINCED TO SEE US AS HUMANS. THAT APPROACH HAS FAILED CONSISTENTLY!
If you truly cared about them not getting punched in the face, like every bigot fully deserves, you will correct them in your “loving” way before one of us does it for them with the same degree of violence that they dole out on us. Your silence is not protecting them it is endangering them. You need to make them understand that we are sick as shit of assholes like them ruining our day and a lot of us are OVER smiling and being nice about being othered and disparaged for our race. Some of us have nothing left to lose by defending ourselves. Every bigot that gets shanked after saying something ignorant and hurtful EARNED IT.
If your family member rejects you because you keep insisting that brown people are equally human to white people, then they are shitty fucking people and you are better off without their poison in your head. People who can write off the humanity of the majority of people in this earth because they are lighter than us are not “good” people. They are disgusting wastes of the oxygen they metabolize and if they all dropped dead at once next week the world would ONLY be improved by their absence. White supremacists are THAT pointless and worthless to the rest of us. Defending them only ever adds you their ranks of shittiness.
As far as thinking you are any kind “ally” when you’re too lazy and chickenshit to even call in your own people around you to school them, take off the damn safety pin, you’re not fooling anyone. Who gets to decide you are “ally” and on what grounds? By any standards you are a shit “ally!” if you don’t engage with the racist in your own bloodline. You are a SILENT “ally,” the kind that wears the safety pin on their collar but will just stand by and say or do nothing when they have an opportunity because it’s too haaaaaard.
What kind of ally defends walking away from discussions with anyone they might actually be able to reach? That’s some pretty shit ally-ship! You’re not any kind of ally worth considered if walking away is your biggest strategy and the one you boast about the loudest. here is not one single element of refusing to engage with any racist that makes anyone an ally. It’s not a thing.Try again.
Being “nice” in your occasional encounters with brown skinned people does not make you an “ally” and neither is seeing us as equals. That’s not allyship, it is the BASELINE for being a BASIC DECENT human being. You’re not in the first grade and there is not one single Participation Trophy for not using a persons’s skin color as an excuse to treat them like shit are being engraved for you. Treating brown people exactly the same as you treat white people is not going to earn you any more ally head pats than taking a poop earns you an Adulting Badge.
The concept of allyship being a mere “tolerance” of diversity reminds me of the new “Consent is sexy”: slogan. No! No! And a million times more Nos on top of those! Consent is a BASELINE, not a bonus. Treating everyone like we are all humans is not any more some kind of special behavior deserving of recognition and rewards than having a heartbeat is. It’s just what normal, living, unbroken people do. People who find it to be any effort at all to not look down on people for their skin color need to examine the racist assumptions that are making it difficult for them to be decent human beings, but that effort is the barest minimum of self-examination that should be expected of anybody with two sparking synapses left to spark in the darkness of their skull.
~Allies are not the people who do the barest minimum possible, the easiest and least effort thing of all, like being “nice” to people even when we are brown.~
Your refusal to engage with ANY AND EVERY RACIST you encounter is a function of your white privilege. Your boasting about getting to walk away from the discussion is offensive, hurtful, and steeped n your own ability to disconnect from the assault. Us brown people are not afforded the privilege of opting out of defending our own humanity. We can stay and fight, possibly get beat up or killed, or we can give up yet another piece of our own dignity, and walk away like a white dude. Every single time you exercise that white privilege of being totally unaffected by the violence of hate speech, you are NOT doing allyship , you are doing somehting much more insidious and awful, You are one who CONDONES AND VALIDATES BIGOTRY WITH YOUR SILENCE.
“I’d rather not have every interaction with my (mom/dad//uncle-Bobo) be an argument.”
Cry me a fucking river! Let’s talk about ALL the other people your mom goes out into the world to spew her racist shit all over. Yes, YOUR feelings are the only ones that matter. This is part of the white women’s tears phenomenon, where your white lady’s pain is always more significant than the suffering of ALL THE REST OF THE HUMANS that are affected by the thing you can’t be assed to bother with. Tell me again, what part of this makes you an “ally” because I am pretty sure you don’t know the meaning of the word. You don’t hesitate to check me, a brown person that is talking about being marginalized, but you’d “rather not” say anything to one of the individuals that contributes to the oppression of all the brown people she hates on. Take off the damn safety pin, you’re only making it worse.
“Ally” indeed! Google the word so you can stop pretending it applies to you. When you have even ONE excuse to not verbally clap back at every single racist assault in your awareness, stop telling anyone you’re an ally.
If you truly believe that it’s EVER not worth the effort, fine, step back and bow out, but for fuck’s sake, stop regarding yourself as an ally, because “ally” is a VERB you PERFORM not a label you get to apply to yourself for some imagined help you think you’re giving us. You have already blown your cover as a casual racist as soon as you explain ANY excuse to not slap a racist back into their place under a rock.
I have all the silent “allies” I need sitting around and allowing the other white people in their lives oppress me. I don’t understand why any white person thinks there is any part of chickening out deserves my gratitude or respect
“You’re not trying to change minds or opinions, we are not on the same page.” (…because I am a ‘good’ and ‘liberal’ whitey and I am only in this until there is any real confrontation, then I am going to just take my ball of privilege and go home. Being snide, condescending, and verbally abusive is only ever an option when I am beating some brown person over the head with my privilege and entitlement, but must not EVER under any circumstances be applied to any of the white people in my life that actually DESERVE to be treated like shit).
“Liberal” wipipo think treating a brown person like shit by disclosing to us the EXCUSES they have queued up for why they can’t be bothered to be more vocal on our behalf to whatever racist relative they are protecting and validating STILL expect our graciousness, gratitude, and headpats for being our “allies” even after they just gave a big, obvious reason for being a really shitty excuse for an “ally.”. They don’t have any problems at all with trying to “change *our hearts and minds* about the treatment we are allowed to expect even if it is a simple baseline like equality. This is backwards as Hell, but it is the subtext every single time a white person ‘splains why they don’t talk to their mommy, nana, uncle or great grand-Bobo about how fucked up and shitty their bigotry is.
As soon as anyone points out how there is ZERO allyship involved with opting-out of the uncomfortable conversations, there comes the inevitable lecture about how pointing out any mistakes white people make around racism ever is NO WAY to “win over” allies. Apparently, as white people love to point out to me, we need all need to just to settle for shitty effete “allies” that brag about how they do and say nothing instead of suggesting actual actions that would actually make the world a better place for anyone besides the room full of uncomfortable white people confronting the racist in their midst.
I sincerely don’t give a crap, nor should I be expected to expend any energy at all caring what some raggedy old racist asshole keeps in their putrid brain. I just don’t want them to get it all over me, because that shit is RANCID! You white people can go ahead trying to make it smell more like roses because it runs in your family, but don’t fucking act like you are owed a drop of respect or gratitude for showing off how long you can hold your breath around it.
Her white tears of whatever the fuck she cries about (as if she were the oppressed one and not the bigot) will never amount to the oceans of blood and tears caused by every other person throughout history that has thought like she does. She should be fucking ashamed. Every racist asshole should be fucking ashamed for being such a neanderthal.
Age is not an excuse. Every single human alive can decide at any moment to recognize the humanity of other humans. The DELIBERATE refusal to do so makes them shitty people and they deserve to be shamed for it. They deserve to feel embarrassed and like treated like the crap they are every time they open their bigoted yap. There are NO EXCUSES for being a racist. In this day and age, it is a deliberate, conscious choice to be hateful and ignorant. Those hateful and ignorant people are the last ones on earth deserving of respect or kind treatment. They deserve to be punched in the face every time they have a racist thought.
I love when white people say they are listening, but then change absolutely nothing about what they wqere saying or doing before. Clearly they are not HEARING if they go on doing the exact same oppressive bullshit they were doing before the “conversation” took place.
When white people recognize and discuss their own privilege it allows other white people to see it too. This is not possible when we talk about white privilege because yts get so defensive, as if we were making vast generalizations based on their skin color when we talk about how they can get away with things that nobody else can. I mean, how unfair and demoralizing race-based generalazations are, amirite? When we talk about white privilege to those that benefit the most from it, and are therefore blinded to it, we are either greeted with defensiveness and anger at our “generalizing” or we are coerced into wipe away the white tears of the poor caring soul whose feelings are hurt just imagning such horrors exist in their porisitne vision of the world.
The global corporate oligarchy of resource extraction plutocrats has always had their guy elevated in other banana republics. Every. Single. Time. It is pure delusion to think that if they can do it everywhere else in the world, that this country, still reeling from the carefully orchestrated land grab that was branded as “the financial; collapse” with it’s underemployed, overworked, deliberately kept in poverty and poor health citizens, will have any ability to resist in any meaningful way. Just like in every other banana republic, tyranny is able to dominate a people who are so busy just trying to get by on a day to day basis to fight back.
Despotism works hand in hand with capitalism to distract people from revolt by making it damn near impossible to even meet our basic needs. let alone to have the time or energy to overthrow them.
The dictator might get ousted once he has been installed, but not until he’s either made so many of HIS OWN PEOPLE (and I do not mean his CITIZENS, but the ones that had him installed) angry that they revolt, or he tries to go rogue and stops obeying and gets replaced by a new sponsored dictator, but not ever one second sooner than that. Fascism is winning, Overthrowing the governments of countries with the most financial inequality in order to sustain the upwards distribution of profits from the hands of the workers. Dictators have always been placed by the rich and powerfulsince the invention of government and there is no sign of it slowing down. This train is just starting to pick up speed and every time I see an optimistic new story about yet another transgression or investigation into the SCROTUS or his gang of thugs, I just have to roll my eyes at the naivete of the writer or wonder f they just came to this planet from one where the leaders have not always been the greediest and most tyrannical individuals I of any society.
None of this is to say we should not punch every Nazi that opens their yap to us, or try to overthrow these tyrants. We must NEVER give up the fight, we must always speak up and speak out and protest every time we are able to. Not because we might someday win in the “:end” but because they win right now, today, when we don’t.
Fascism and overt white supremacy is nothing new here, trust me, us brown-skinned folx see it DAILY here! But since the installation of our blatantly fascist government, the Nazis have been emboldened to crawl out from under their rocks. This is 100% the actions of white people . It is not going to be stopped unless other white people get involved to shut this shit down from within. What are you doing to fight fascism today?
Why is it that white men think we cannot identify them from their comments on social media? There are things that ONLY the most IGNORANT of white men say. There are attitudes that it is IMPOSSIBLE to have unless you were raised with a shit ton of privilege. Once those things have been said, no photos are needed to know that your ignorance and privilege was assigned to you at birth and wraps you like full-body blindfold. No photos of you are needed when you open your white yap to ‘splain to POC how the world ‘really’ works. White men are the experts about EVERYTHING. No, really, literally EVERYTHING is something a white men know more about than everyone else on this earth. No exceptions, ESPECIALLY around issues of race.
Your words and attitude are not an invisibility cloak they are neon signs to the glaring whiteness of your experience. Protestations about not “assuming” you are a white man because you spouted off with some tired old white man bullshit that the rest of us have only all heard a gazillion times before from just about every other ignorant white man that’s chimed in on the matter are what gave your color/gender away.
Instead of screaming “don’t assume” you’re white or “don’t assume” you’re a man, and pull out the pedigree that says you had a brown ancestor 5 generations go, we judt can’t “see” it! Sit your hairy pink ass down and look at what you just said to see what about it was so ignorant that someone would “assume” such a thing about you. Evaluate your words from the perspective of oh, literally ANYONE ELSE ON EARTH, you know all of us out here that are not white like you. Think about what part of what you said was so dripping with entitlement that you slimed the person you were talking to with it. When we get showered with your snot, we can totally see it was a nose that blew it on us. We are not the ignorant variable in this equation because we are the bearers of MORE information and you LESS. LISTEN when we are trying to give you a free education about something that you are CLEARLY IGNORANT ABOUT. This is emotional labor that you are not entitled to, but our survival depends on your having it, so we are conscripted constantly to defend our selves against white male ignorance all the time. Understand that NOBODY ELSE ON THIS EARTH has the luxury to be that ignorant about that thing you just said except someone who has had ZERO lived experiences with navigating the every day oppression of white supremacy. We do not need to see your skin or penis, we see the entitlement in your words! It is not an “assumption” that you are white, it is your attitude and words that REVEAL you are white. Your privilege disclosed your race by way of your words. It is insulting and infantalizing to act like nobody can see this. You arewn’t fooling anybody.
When us brown folx get together to talk about our lived experiences in real life or social media, there is inevitably that one white guy (often there are more than one) that barges in to explain everything to the rest of us as if he had ANY experience at all, usually contradicting or minimizing our experiences while they’re at it, and then getting all manner of hurt when we tell them white people CANNOT know what it’s like live a brown-skinned life in society. White people die a little inside when they have to absorb that they are not in fact better, smarter, or more knowledgeable than us brown people. And then they act like we’re some kind of bully for merely pointing out our EQUALITY, because it takes the wind out out of their superiority sail.
Meanwhile the rest of us are over here VALIDATING and not contradicting each other when we talk about what it’s like to be brown, EVEN WHEN OUR EXPERIENCES DIFFER FROM EACH OTHERS!!!! That is how you reveal you are a white or a man. The rest of us are not so terrified at the concept that our world may be vastly different that another person’s world that we cannot even tolerate the conversation about how it’s different for each of us that white people do. It is crucial to the white supremacist experience that no other perspective comes in to upset their beloved hierarchy of race and gender. Nobody else is so threatened by other perspectives that they feel compelled to shut down all conversations about it than the main beneficiaries of the structure itself.
Although high and holier people like to demonize addicts, what these judgmental assholes fail to understand is that the conditions that have to be met in a person’s life before they need to or are able to succumb to the throes of addiction is a failure of society to adequately support its most emotionally vulnerable people and never a personal failing. The causes of addiction are based on the accumulated effects of past trauma. Vilifying addicts is ignorant at best and exacerbating at worst. It is blaming sick people for having an illness that was induced by society’s utter failure to provide the connection and community addicts need escape their dependency. The impulse to act out on addictive tendencies is a symptom of shitty surroundings. It is not the substance, or even ready availability of substances that drives addiction
I just added a new item to my menu of purchasable services:
Token Azn Friend: For $50, you can drop my name, share photos of me on your social media to show others that not ALL your friends are white people because you have an Asian friend. Please be aware that there has been some Token inflation in today’s social climate. You’re going to need at least two token friends from each diaspora to truly not be a racist.
I will be the first to admit that I am still livid about how between the DNC shoving candidate Clinton down our throats and the media shoving Trump down our throats the election was stolen from Bernie Sanders, who very much should have won. If Bernie was in office today, this is the budgetwe would be looking at instead of the current corporate, oligarchical shit-show we’ve been given in its place. I still prefer the Giant Meteor to Fascism in America. At this point if we did get Giant Meteor, it would be the ultimate Nazi punching from the cosmos.
I was listening to this great interview from Crooked Media’s Pod Save the People between #BlackLivesMatter hero and civil rights activist DeRay with American hero whistleblower Edward Snowden, and was reminded, by Mr. Snowden himself, of the Signal App that you can install to keep your messages, photos and updates from the front lines of social justice encrypted and therefor effectively if not out of the hands of massive data collection efforts by our fascist overlords, at least safe from their prying eyes.